Waiting For You

by Kryptonite Dreamer   Sep 22, 2017

Many words have been spoken,
Many tears have been shed,
So many times when I write these words down,
I have many people ask if I'm okay,
I lie to them,
I say "I'm okay",
But if you look in my eyes,
They scream over and over,
"Help me",
"I'm broken",
"I want to become obsolete",
But no one sees that,
They just see the fake smile,
I'm afraid to live this life alone,
I've been waiting on this bench for you,
But I know you've been gone for awhile now,
You were my best friend,
Every year we met on this bench and talked,
We would influence each other,
But its been four years now,
I still come to the bench wishing it was a dream,
Wishing what happened,
Didn't actually happen,
The day you took your life in front of me,
I remember the tears,
I remember the blame,
I remember when the paramedics couldn't save you,
I tried,
I tried to keep you alive until they pulled me off,
I didn't want to lose you,
I remember what you said to me before,
What you said with your final breaths,
I remember the note you gave me on the bench,
I really wish I couldn't but you were family,

"Skyler. I'm sorry to do this to you but, I can't live with the fact that I've got a target on my back for bullies. Promise me when I follow through with this you'll always come to this bench every month. Please don't forget who I am. Love you brother, M"
So I hurried to your house the next day,
Pleading to talk you out of your death,
I see the nine millimeter in your hand,
Firmly placed on your chest,
As soon as I open your door,
"Goodbye brother",
All I heard with the shot,
Pressing down on your chest,
Frantically calling 911,
I get told paramedics won't arrive in time,
It'll be 20 minutes until they come,
Tears are now soaking my face,
"Look at me M. You can't die. I don't want you to. You're family and you know family doesn't leave family behind. I am still gonna go to the bench but I want you there to"
With a final gasp,
Crying and holding onto my best friend,
My brother,
I knew he was lifeless,
But I wanted him to know I was there,
Just like he was there for me


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Latest Comments

  • 9 months ago

    by Evanescent Moon

    Oh wow... this is absolutely heartbreaking and I am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, that you have gone through this.

    But Kasie is right, it is very much an eye opener for this... very touchy yet still over looked subject that life today is given. It's so hard for both sides. The pain and suffering of the victim and just the same to those who love them.

    This piece here, this piece shows both of those sides to a point where it is like we the readers are peering through a window. This type of dilemma needs to be addressed more with the seriousness it deserves. And what you wrote... it does just that.

    It is sad, tragic really, but quite well done.

  • 9 months ago

    by Kasie

    Wow, this is very deep and decriptive. If this has happened to you, I am so sorry you had to go through this.

    But, this piece is an eye opener about suicide. It's real and people deal with this on a daily basis and no one seems to talk about it.

    Well done, thank you for sharing.