Forced Flow, Forced Feeling

You were a high I could never come down from
And I found some kinds of sadness I could treat
So finish what you started
Because I'm standing in the snow at midnight laughing
And feeling the frost against my cheek.
It's cold out here. I'm so damn cold.
I'll only come in with you for the heat.

These days I spend my time worrying and dreaming of the future
Trying not to quicksand myself in doubt and hesitation
I've been wrapped up in my work and wrapped around your finger
And I've seen the other side of desperation
Here's a hint; it's just more desperation.
That old tar-pit life of captivation
Leads to only disappointment, nothing ever meets our expectation.

Call me a pessimist, but love doesn't ever settle for long on these tired shoulders
I've learned not to rely on people because eyes and minds tend to roam.
Mine, I mean. I always fixate on the feeling of drowning inside another.
So naturally I tend to end my nights alone.
You were never anything more than a convenience.
I'd never have agreed if I had known
That you'd turn the gun back on me,
and like a curse my stupid heart would turn to stone.
But crawling back to you just isn't something I can condone.

I can't force words to flow smooth where they're just not meant to be
But I'm fine taking us through the motions if we can just agree
It's not fair the way your smile melts the ice inside of me.
Or that you can grab my attention with a glance
I'm tired of lying to myself, I've missed you
But I'd never be delusional enough to make an unsolicited advance
Yes, at one point you had me hopeful;
but I never loved you.
To be honest, I just never got the chance.