& this is where I find myself -
Running like a wildfire through the fields of unshielded
apologies. I have little care in leaving the remains littered
on the kitchen floor.
I sound like silence, if silence were to have a voice
entirely of its own…
Yet somewhere, in the space between my finger
prints and the slight shimmer of day break,
I watch myself spread my arms out across
another boys back and pretend that their wings
are simply the shape my hands make when
I think about closeness.
This goes to say that sometimes, I am left like
a misheard messiah not quite worthy of worship,
that my loneliness resembles wanting, and wanting
Never fails to fail so destructively…
Yet still, in the fields of unshielded apologies
I blaze through them like a fighter jet
flying far too low over NYC.
Which goes to say I aim forever towards the skyscraper
of my father’s absence, as the memory of
him quietly slips into an orange dress –
So this is how we always continue -
with my father’s shadow wrapping its weight around
my shoulders as I teach him
how to walk….
Now I only need to continue; to melt into a
sudden leakage of light and drip
further and further
into the eyes of his new born daughter.
Until there is just enough of me to make my father flinch,
as his soul tumbles from
the burning building
This is such a strong piece with such real and unique imagery and descriptions that I couldn't stop even for a little bit to pause while I was reading it. With fields of unshielded apologies, misheard messiahs, wings made from stretched out arms on a person's back and teaching one's own father how to walk - the descriptions are really unique and vivid and bring about a high sense of sadness in its every word. The poet has beautifully blended soft and dark images to form this sad piece of poetry.