Comments : Discarded

  • 3 weeks ago

    by BOB GALLO

    These is an interesting and solid poetical, out of body experience.

  • 3 weeks ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Collapsing in pain due to a physical illness or from being hit by a car were the first two that came to mind but then I thought this description could also be due to a harsh internal anquish caused by deep emotional pain or as a reaction to a physical attack. This piece is fluid and allows the reader to place many different interpretations on it. Best wishes Milly x

    • 3 weeks ago

      by S.T.A.R.

      Thank you both :) I’ll leave the meaning up to your imagination!!!

  • 3 weeks ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I always say each poem calls for its own distinct format, and what works for one poem might not work for the other... so I like how each line flowed into the next and there was almost an emphasis on that pain, when you placed one word on each line, signaling how your body functions are shutting down and your soul escapes.

    You captured a depth in this that part of me quite literally thinks death or the kind of emotional shock of being betrayed, of being abandoned. How we cope when it feels like we are finished without that presence and support in our lives.

    Brilliant piece.

    • 3 weeks ago

      by S.T.A.R.

      “I always say each poem calls for its own distinct format”
      ^
      When I try to convey a certain emotion, I tend to focus less on the format and it comes out on it’s own. I think that is the case for many of us. I believe that is the reason formats work best, being lead by emotions not style :)

      As usual, thank you soooo much for the comment!!!

  • 3 weeks ago

    by Maple Tree

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh how I love this write... visually stunning

    • 3 weeks ago

      by S.T.A.R.

      Thank you Treeeeeee ^_^