All I Wanted (Thirteen Candles)

Everyone around me smiles
Everyone around me cries
Because I'm gradually growing into someone older and stronger in their eyes

But of course nobody sees
I've been strong all along
Because who was the one who held them up
When they were breaking?

There's a cake on the table
With only thirteen candles
I finally hit my teens
But being happy about this I could not handle

Because everyone is laughing
Only because of their success
Of keeping me alive for so long
So after the celebration they can rest their burdens on me

To hide their secret glee they shower me with gifts
And I search for the one I want
It's not what you think, no CDs, no cell phone
None of those things come close to what I want

And i can't find it
And I am ungrateful, as they say
To waste their time with me
I'm a nobody to my "family" again

So they leave me alone
And I don't care anymore
I run to my room and slam the door
Lock it so nobody comes in

I hide under my covers
Shivering
I emerge when I find my solution
Finding my birthday present

Knowing well of my actions
I reach into my drawer and hold up the beautiful knife
You see, before I was even a teenager
All I wanted for my birthday was to die

*I'm about to OFFICIALLY (I know I say on my profile that I am already) turn 13 real soon and it's scaring the crap outta me and I don't know why. I know this isn't one of my best but I thought I had to give something new.*

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