Thats really sad... im sry to hear that something like that had to happen..
Love always Tiffany Heather
Great POem

I have been wanting to write a poem about the sholdiers who don't make it home for a long time. Yet I doubt I could ever achieve something like what you put down.
It's amazing how you are able to capture the thought and pain of the people close. It's just that good.

~*TasH*~

Bloody excelant well done

love

rex

O_O whoa........

That is so sad julie my goodness
hmm my cousin is a US marine nd well i know how sad it is that hes gone nd riskin his life

i like it specially the choice of words

Wow.. beautifully written poem.. so much emotion in to it.. very well written.. i am very sorry for your loss.. this is a very vivid poem and i can picture some of these images that you described its like you've painted this picture.. this is an amazing poem.. with such strong and powerful words.. great work =)

--emotionless19*

Wow iam sooo very sorry about your friend. amazing poem. keep up the good work

Wow, that was really good. The story was really well told and it was sweet to have that kind of tribute. There's one thing you may want to fix tho - this tiny little insignificant error in spelling:

Your fellow 'solider'

to 'soldier'

hehe but that doesn't even count as a poetic error. So other than that, don't change a thing in this :)

Wow! i cant explain the feelings i get. i have a family member and a friend in iraq. it was just great. Keep up the great work.

Emma 5/5

It's very good overall but I found little things that distract from the effect. When you say "As your casket walks by" It made me imagine a casket with legs...which sort of ruined the whole tone. Maybe say as the casket was carried by or something.
In the line "Your body to mangled" to should be too. and in the line "Of once a young happy you" I think you mean for a and once to be switched.
Then in the 5th stanza the rhythm is a little off and the last line seems a little blunt and the rest of the poem clearly conveys that he fought in the war... stating it ruins it a little. Then in the next stanza I don't really understand what you are trying to get across.. If you want to show that this is where the body is it doesn't make sence to say that it arrived there before it was "led" or brought. forgive me for picking apart your poem, I'm trying to be helpful so you don't need to listen to me. But I'm very sorry for your loss.. It's particularly sad when a young life is just thrown away in war.

Omg that's so sad. my boyfriends in the army. and I loved this poem. 5/5

This poem is so sad . i really almost cried
i cant see clear cuz my eyes are starting to water. o.O

Wow really good ....

A good one.
You did draw a good picture of the whole situation, but what Lorraine stated in her comment was somehow true.

I aint saying am better either, but what I do is let the words flow out onto the sheet, and then re read it and try to re construct it; but hey, don't change too much, or the poem will loose out on the spontaneous part.

Apart from that, Love reading your work.

Wow that is truly amazing

Im sorry you had to go through that, but this is a great poem, from what I have read you are an amazing poet, Im looking forward to reading more of your work
xox Sherrie

It's a great poem, I don't know your point of view, but partiots or not, they are all men who deserve to live, I'd prefer to see those soldiers live in peace that stand for aa already safe country.Well done to you

Aww! This poem almost made me cry, especially the last stanza! Great work on this, it's so sad that soliders die so pointlessly, it breaks my heart everytime i hear of a soldier dying. Great work

--Steph