I cannot bear to see my loved ones slowly wither
They will know when they see the crimson river
Here I lay fading; a broken oath patiently waiting
A king has fallen beneath the waterfall cascading
If I had seen the banner far across the empty plain
It would be our foe this day feeling the blood drain
The chill of the water caresses my throbbing mind
The shadows of this Dark Age have made me blind
Images of deception and deceit tease my cold breath
As I rest in the crimson river anticipating my death
That was a really great poem. It gave me an odd sort of feeling, not the chills, but something else. When I read it it reminded me of a few things yet it reminded me of nothing at all. The way the words were used and the way everything flowed and fit. wow.
Awesome poem! I really liked these lines:
"Here I lay fading; a broken oath patiently waiting
A king has fallen beneath the waterfall cascading"
--- wonderful rhymes and flow throught the whole poem.
Youve used such amazing images in this poem! especially with the descriptions including water. its a poem filled with emotion but described in such a distant way that it becomes sorrowfull. really well written.
(thanks for your kind comments on my poem)