"Caught in a vicious circle of life and death,
It all ending tragically with one last breath."

I loved those lines. Great job on this poem, it's so dark and morbid and i enjoyed reading it. The rhyming was very interesting, i liked the way you rhymed only the last 2 lines of each stanza, great work on this poem. I loved it.

--Steph

Darien,
this is an amazing poem....so dark and eerie....I love the imagery, however dark...great poem 5/5

Darien! OMG!!

This was kinda scary. Reminded me of graveyards? Well, I spose the poem kinda is about graveyards.

But anywho, I thought it was really well done. And the flow was flawless and the rhyme scheme was awesome! It was just a scary poem though. Gave me shivers. Lol.. Great job! 5/5

`Taleee. xx.

WOw this is reallly strong.
pretty dark too but good.
I like the style you wrote in the abcc

great job
5/5

God Bless

-Chris

Great work, one of the better poems i have read in a long time. You have a good vocabulary and use it well, so great job. Again i also picked up the line
"Everyone are equals under Mother Earth."
as that could either be "everyone is equal" or "we are all equals"

Very descriptive and a good idea, your language is nicely done, keep writing!

The poem just glues u to the words. the 3 verce really jumped at me. sadly it's true thoe. ur writing is amazing:)

Damn... Dark, deep and wonderfully written! A very impressive piece, with superb rhymes. Enjoyable read.

I really like this poem, a lot it's great! keep it up check out my poems, thanx.!!

I agree with everyone that was a great poem. Really beautiful, it was well written and flowed perferctly. Great job
5/5
Breanna

Great poem!! But hopefully just cuz you die, your not forgotten!! I love the line 'Everyone is equal under Mother Earth'!!! That is soo true!!
5/5

Another awesome poem!
this one is darker but just as beautiful.
you have a real eloquence with words.
5/5

Wow...b e a utiful mate.
lol
5/5
your word use and description was terrific.
flawless poem.
~Wings

Wow, very well writtin! I really like the flow of words and rhymes. I like the idea of the poem a lot, and u pulled it off very well, I have nothing to Critique because it is very well done. U did well on grammar to (In my opinion anyways lol) So everything looks in order, well done! And keep up the good work!

~++~

I really liked the dark morbid feel beind expressed frm this poem. Some parts were mediocre, but the poem flowed nicely. The end I fancied because it tied all loose ends up into the last stanza. So great job! I enjoyed it.

Hey, this poem was great, its deep and dark. i really liked it. keep up the work.
babydavie

Awesome poetry. I loved the rhyme scheme, it really worked to bring out the slightly abstract, perhaps bizarre, nature of your poem. I like the way your poem leads on questions,

What could have been we now wonder?

Bringing the reader into the poetry.

Excellent work.

Peace. [Sole]

Holy crap Darien...why do you have ti write such bone chilling writes? eekkss...I enjoyed this though..I'm glad I read because I normally don't read dark poems...catchy title By the way!!
-us

p.s.......read some of our poems :-)

Good poem it was very unique and different! The flow was not forced upon at all it was a really good poem!

Please read rate and comment six of mine that you have not already done!
-thanks

This is a really just morbid and strong poem... holly crap.... its so ood it like gave me chills

~sos

This is a really just morbid and strong poem... holly crap.... its so ood it like gave me chills

~sos