The Sun's Failing Doom

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Jul 22, 2006


Heaven blazes our eyes,
We stand still in sacrifice,
Autumn sings her lullaby,
We take it in as Heaven cries.

The sun sings a mournful tune,
He shines over butterfully tombs.
Darkness arises with the coming moon;
He's the reason for the sun's failing doom.

The stars gather around in surprise,
They watch aghast as the sun quickly hides,
They watch closely as the moon comes to defy,
Witnessing silently as the burning sun dies.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Another awesome nature poem. It flowed exceptionally well, really touched me. Well done.
    keep writing
    xxxxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Loulou

    Excellent! This is sooo creative. The flow was wonderful. Great great poem!!!!

  • 17 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    I love. Love. Love. This poem. I hate nature poems though for some reason. I only like a VERY select few. Like yours. You managed to relate it to nature but not overwhelm it like alot of people do by using all these nature words to tie there already based nature poem more on nature. Your wording choices are lovely. Great Job. I absolutly adore this poem.

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    You describe sunset as something tragic, it's odd but in a good way.
    I'm not sure of the rhyming, it seemed a tad forced.
    I liked the second stanza the most but I don't understand the second line. What does "butterfully" mean?
    Some good descriptions overall.

  • 17 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    Ohh.Ohhh.Ohhh. Ilove the imagery of this poem. It was great. WOnderful write yet again.

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