I Accidentally Fell in Love With the Devil

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Nov 28, 2018


The first letter in every paragraph:

This is for my twin soul that committed suicide.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wasn't going to tell our story. There was a certain
Attraction in the secret of it all.

My mentality has

Split.
How heavy can a soul get before the
Elasticity snaps? There has to be a limit to the amount of pressure
Even our souls can withstand...

Nothing could compare to this kind of loss. If I just close my eyes, I can nearly feel his
Aura encompassing mine,
Serenading my energy field, vibrating at the same frequency of
His. It was an unearthly feeling, two different souls
Accidentally finding each other in a world of 8 billion humans
When we are all one subconscious energy having different
Adventures. Just -

Remember: The most important decision you'll ever make is whether you will fight for the Light or the
Darkness.

I
Accidentally fell in the love devil. He looked something like the
Moon, surrounded in emptiness, with only the burning fire of the
Sun lighting his way through the Darkness.
He was just a lost soul, you see. You are not God; you do not hold the power to damn an
Entire consciousness. He only wanted peace, just as all Demons do, but the
Emptiness consumed Him. The difference between Angels and Demons lies only within the choice of what fight you choose. The Angels will
Never. Understand. The choices of the Dark. We can only
Accept their pain and try to understand their own
Suffering. I find suffering is a necessary part of life.
However, it is
A
World wind of uncertainty
And questioning the very fabric of your sanity. I'm not sure what
Reality is. Everything is a vague void; I am walking in a
Dream. Will
I ever wake up? I
A
M

Screaming for
Help. For hope. For anything to become tangible, because the
Endless suffering is overwhelming. I can feel
Ev-er-y-thing. I can feel the sun setting fire to every cell in my body, sending my nerves in a frenzy;
Neurons burning, they are set into the motion of chaos whenever
Another entity gets near me. My
Soul is on fire; I'm melting – is anyone there to
Hear me?
A dreamer
Wails to the universe; “Please, don't leave me
Alone here!” I
Regret ever volunteering to come
Down to Earth.
I
A
M
Suffocating on my own oxygen; I can barely
Hear the stars singing over the
Eternal wails of lost humanity. Maybe
Eventually the lost will find their way home, but I
Never expect them to. Oh, Mr. Moon, where
Are you? The
Sun is crying out; she is tired and needs
Help carrying the burden of the entire Earth, the sorrow of so many lost
Animas, souls that
Will wander forever in the vast
Assortment of nebulas setting off chemical
Reactions that I remember... I remember the
Dim light, burning out
In your soul. I wonder if you
Are okay.

My nights are days, my days are nights. Time
Seems irrelevant; inconsistent. I
Have lost track of it, forgetting to
Eat. An
Emptiness has consumed me. I
Never thought I would have to face this world
Alone. I am alone.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 8 months ago

    by Prophecies In Kodak

    I know we haven’t spoken in a very long time and I am late to the understanding here - but I read this and I felt it and I am so sorry for you. My mom took her own life four years ago and it has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through, I cannot imagine a twin flame, a half of your whole. This poem is beautiful and raw, Sheena. You’ve always been great with words but this is vulnerability on another level. I’m so sorry for your loss, I am here if you ever need an ear.

  • 4 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    It made me sad it was so filled with emotions and I want to say I'm sorry for your pain I truly am losing a loved one is never easy but writting down what you feel helps just a little I hope one day the pain goes away not the memories just the pain

  • 4 years ago

    by Abstract Poet

    Beautiful poem.

  • 5 years ago

    by D.

    It takes a lot of bravery to bare your soul like this on a public website, but you will get no judgement here. In time, you’ll look back upon this and be happy you wrote all these negative feelings out. There’s a lot of emotion and pain here. I hope you find comfort.

    • 5 years ago

      by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

      Thank you so kindly. I'm doing what I can to stay alive. This hurts more than I ever could have imagined.

  • 5 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I hope his aura keeps you grounded and you find what you need through his memories. This couldn't have been at all easy to share and I commend you for writing so raw. Sometimes the pain just has to be written out. The part that struck me the most was the question of if we will fight the light or the darkness and there is anguish in every line that none of us can simply say "it will get better". We don't have the answers and I just send all the support in the world to you right now. You are heard.

    <3

    • 5 years ago

      by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

      Oh. You're perfect. This is exactly what I needed.. I haven't been on this site, let alone posted anything, in years.
      Yeah.. it'll take a long time for it "to get better". Write it out. Write it out. That's all I know.

      Thank you for such wonderful words. My soul feels you. <3