Comments : Upon a lover's ideal

  • 11 years ago

    by jamie ellen

    Very vivid and beautiful very well done!

  • 11 years ago

    by LockedInEternity

    This is a very beautifuly written poem!!5/5
    It had everything nicely rounded up and the ending was really sweet:):) The last stanza put the whole poem into place!! WONDERFUL poem:):)

  • 11 years ago

    by silence

    Very sweet poem. I love the way it was written! Good Job!! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Lost & Delirious

    I loved your word choice, it's very poetic and original. The whole poem is really original, the theme is sweet and it's written beautifully.

    My favorite part was:

    Sweet teardrops of the sunlight
    Bathe them in a reclusive glow

    Great job! 5/5

    Keep writing.

    XoXo
    Gaby

  • 11 years ago

    by Jordan

    I think that my favorite thing about this poem is the tone and language used. It gives the feeling of a poem written long ago, and I really enjoy that.

    I can't really explain why, but your peom also makes me feel nostalgic...I dunno, I'm crazy.

    I beg of you, re-assess your grammar. (Sorry, but I'm picky when it comes to that stuff, lol.)

  • 11 years ago

    by Jordan

    Oh, I'm sorry....wow...I AM picky.

    I looked it over again, and the only grammar errors I encountered were the misplacing and absence of apostrophes.

    "form's" instead of "forms'"
    and
    "lover's" instead of "lovers"

    I'm sorry that I'm so picky. Lol.

  • 11 years ago

    by A Christoffer

    Great poem! 5/5! jp! lol. even though it had the four line stanzas with every other line rhyming, it still ahd its own feel to it. i like that you kept the syllables between 6 and 8 beats. it really gave the poem a kind of song type of feeling.(songs have between 6 and 10 beats in a measure) the choice of words was intoxicating as well.

  • 11 years ago

    by Tainted Beauty

    I really liked this poem, i loved the vocabulary you used. It made the poem more interesting to read, because it's not everyday that you hear that kind of language used. I also liked how it was short and sweet. I would tell you something i didn't like about it, but there isnt anything i can think of:P

    Great work.

    --Steph

  • 11 years ago

    by Raychel

    I've never been able to write a good love poem....because I guess it would have to be the fact that i end up with pigs. Anyway what I'm tryin to say is if I ever find someone to trust and love I hope its something like your poem.
    I loved it.

    Raychel

  • 11 years ago

    by Jessica

    Awwwwww.. this was so sweet hunny.. i loved it.. the descriptions were so beautiful! it flowed effortlessly and was oozing emotion.. wonderful work! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    Awh, I think it is a very sweet poem. The flow and rythme was amazing. I really loved your wording choices.

    "Sweet teardrops of the sunlight
    Bathe them in a reclusive glow
    A shadow falls intently
    Upon a lover's plateau."

    That would have to be my favorite stanza. Very nicely written. Over all I gave the whole thing a five. Keep up the beautiful writtenings Hun.

  • 11 years ago

    by UnToLd TrUtH

    This is really good....you used a different approach that im not used to but i like it all the same. 5/5

  • It's beautiful!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Poetess Lana

    Wow... i love this. it was very descriptive to me. 5/5

    -ARP

  • 11 years ago

    by holly

    Great descriptions in this, enjoyable read. you had good flow and i loved the last line xxALLYxx

  • 11 years ago

    by Rachel

    Wow! Very good you are really talented!

  • 11 years ago

    by The Lonely Rose

    I luv the poem!! keep on writing!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by IhAvEnOpOeTiCtAlEnT

    Awww... that was so beautiful... 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Why has this such a low rating? Very well written. Good use of rhyme, nicely portrayed, and the repetition use worked well too. I really don't have a bad comment to say about this. Thanks for sharing.

  • 11 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Beautiful job, I loved the second stanza.

    "Alas" usually refers to something sad.