Hide The Pain

Every day I smile and hide my pain with laughter.
Nobody can see through. Nobody can see the pain.
Should I try to be happy and force myself to chase after
The happy things, or should I accept misery and not complain?

I try to think positively through the rain,
And I hope for better days but they just get worse.
Even though inside I know sunny days remain,
All this pain I keep bottled is gonna make me burst!

Everyone thinks I am so happy and full of delight.
But that just proves how little they know and the fact that they're blind.
I am going so crazy in my head I don't even think I can make it through the night;
My head is full of confusion. No where to go but out of my mind!

I seek help from others, but they don't have much to suggest.
So I don't know what to do or where to seek assistance.
So I find myself back at the same place; confused and depressed,
Asking myself what is the point of my existence.

At times I can't focus or concentrate.
Sometimes I just let myself go, and don't worry about my health.
All these thoughts of suicide I cant help but to contemplate.
I just want to know how it would be if I were to kill my self.