Dont let us die

by Juls   Aug 22, 2006


Walking down the stairs what do you think?
I am the same girl you brought into this world

As I brush on my makeup and walk out the door
Do you see what you always saw before?

Daddy please tell me, I cant take it anymore
What you think of me now...before

We both have to see I'm not as perfect as your think
I have some problems you might not believe

But do you still think its not to late
To hold me like you did if I was up late?

Time has told me, it doesn't survive
But Daddy I grew up..I didn't die

So treat me like your daughter
I will treat you as my dad

So treat me like a women
As I move on but don't treat me like

Another person..another friend

*there ya go dad

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Kristina

    Aww this is a really sad but sweet poem. it had emotion in it and it was good.

    But do you still think its not to late
    To hold me like you did if I was up late?

    having 2 lates at the end threw the poem off a little. maybe try a different word for one of them? i dont know it just didnt seem right.

    but it was an great poem =] 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by twisted reality

    I gave you a 4/5. I thought that the poem wasn't really flowed all the well, and some of the lines went too long, while others went too short.

    [What you think of me now...before]

    ^^I really didn't understand that line...It's talking about now, but before...Before what? And I don't understand how you can talk about 2 tenses at the same time. It confuses people. Keep up the writing! =) 4/5 xox

    Samantha

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