Well it was good.. the only thing i didnt like was that you used pain a lot and you used brain at the end twice.. it just didnt sound right with pain in the poem at the end 3 times.. but other then that great job! i'd give you a 4/5 but i wont rate cause i dont want it to go down.. but try to think of other words if you can.
The dcontent of this is good, i like the way the nature of this "pain" is kept open. however, i am not so keen upon the rhyme scheme implimented... seems almost forced in places,... overall a good peice though
Not my favorite I'll be honest. It's not bad, it started out quite well, but it ended too quickly and was weak. I don't think this kind of rhyme scheme suits the style. I do like the topic and the title. Keep it up!
I/m sad to admit that this didn't really do it for me. it wasn't personal. it didn't get to me- so to speak. i felt the rhymes could use work-theyre very simple and just blah. also i little inconsistant. i think it also could be added on greatly. give more detail and a better picture.
Wow! nice work. there wasn't a specific ryme scheme but it worked. it was short and not too long. you used a couple of the words over so there could have been better word choice but the emotion was shown very well. my favorite part was the ending.
"This is the end.
You want to be dead,
So there will be no more pain,
And you will no longer be tired.
So goodbye pain."