Comments : Goodbye Pain

  • 10 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Wow, I usually don't like dark poems, but yours was very well written. It flowed very well and the structure was good. Keep up the wonderful work.

    Peace, Joe

  • 10 years ago

    by ^_^GuitarGal

    Great Flow.. I love your wonderful poem

  • 10 years ago

    by Jason

    I have to agree with the first poster. At the end the flow and the rhymes seemded a little forced. But still a good poem.

  • 10 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I agree with the first poster, too. To me, the rhymes just didn't seem to flow as well as they could have. The wording and structure was all very good though. :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Normal is the Watchword

    Everything felt forced and repetitive but keep working on it.

  • 10 years ago

    by UnToLd TrUtH

    Again this is great I liked the ryhming in it and it held alot of emotion. 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    I can really realte to this poem its good.. 5/5 an u probably dnt want a comment on them all but i gave them all 4/5/ or 5/5... good work

  • 10 years ago

    by Kristina

    Well it was good.. the only thing i didnt like was that you used pain a lot and you used brain at the end twice.. it just didnt sound right with pain in the poem at the end 3 times.. but other then that great job! i'd give you a 4/5 but i wont rate cause i dont want it to go down.. but try to think of other words if you can.

    ~Kristina

    ~Kristina

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I liked this muchly.
    I enjoyed the wording and imagery alot, and I thought it was very well written.

  • 10 years ago

    by master of shadow

    The dcontent of this is good, i like the way the nature of this "pain" is kept open. however, i am not so keen upon the rhyme scheme implimented... seems almost forced in places,... overall a good peice though

  • 10 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Not my favorite I'll be honest. It's not bad, it started out quite well, but it ended too quickly and was weak. I don't think this kind of rhyme scheme suits the style. I do like the topic and the title. Keep it up!

  • 10 years ago

    by Lauren Crandall

    I/m sad to admit that this didn't really do it for me. it wasn't personal. it didn't get to me- so to speak. i felt the rhymes could use work-theyre very simple and just blah. also i little inconsistant. i think it also could be added on greatly. give more detail and a better picture.

    x3 Lauren

  • 10 years ago

    by X2892

    Not 2 bad i thought it was good, 4/5

  • 10 years ago

    by ALEX

    Woah.. scary emotions. great poem. i loved how it all flowed.

    -Parker

  • 10 years ago

    by ForeverGoneInYourEyes

    Very nice i liked it keep it up

  • 10 years ago

    by w!th0utyou

    I like this poem a lot. keep it up ...

  • 10 years ago

    by Bryan

    This for some reason captured me, i absolutly love this one, so short but touching, 5/5!!! keep it up!!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Naima

    Oh good poem, there a bit of light in the end! Great poem!

  • 10 years ago

    by Allison

    The flow of this one seemed a bit cluttered. *4/5*

    Alyson

  • 10 years ago

    by Kayla

    Wow! nice work. there wasn't a specific ryme scheme but it worked. it was short and not too long. you used a couple of the words over so there could have been better word choice but the emotion was shown very well. my favorite part was the ending.

    "This is the end.
    You want to be dead,
    So there will be no more pain,
    And you will no longer be tired.
    So goodbye pain."