Wow I loved this.. this is exactally how I feel from time to time. Its so hard to be away from the person you love, especially if you know that they might not come back to you.. Wow amazing emotion in this I heard it in every word you jotted down. Very creative 5/5
This poem could be better. You started 4 of your 7 stanza's with the word 'But' and i found that a little irritating. You should put more emotion into it. Like, rather than saying what you feel like doing, describe the pain. Such as
'All I want to do is cry'
You could say:
'Constantly I fight back the tears' or sometihng like that.
A beautifully formed and emotion filled write. I especially loved the way you used the rhyme of 'long' and 'wrong' in both the first and last stanza. It really turns this piece into a cohesive piece; and sums it up nicely. Wonderful work on this one. *5/5
I likey this poem. not your best 4/5 but i voted 5/5 anyway cause i love you
there are a few things that i think should be fixed. uhm like in the last stanza you wrote, even seconds without you feel out of place and wrong. the fact that you put seconds made it ploral or w\e so you need feel to feel's. and the last line in the 5th stanza doesnt flow. its awakward sounding.
Aww, okay let me get this straight.. you had a relationship and it was broken off? I didn't quite understand that. Very good poem though, again your rhyming and flow were great, you didn't force anything. Your emotion was perfect. You did a great job on this. I loved this part:
But seeing you is hard to take
Unbearable, so hard to do
When I just want to hold your hand,
To hug, to hold and to kiss you