Comments : Away From You

  • 12 years ago

    by Curry

    I love this poem! good work!

  • 12 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    Very well done poem, nice flow and rhyme. Near perfect there! It had an understandable message and was very good overall. I really think this is a well-structured piece. Nice job!
    Charisma*

  • 12 years ago

    by Romantic Lover

    "But seeing you is hard to take
    Unbearable, so hard to do
    When I just want to hold your hand,
    To hug, to hold and to kiss you"

    I loved it, so full of feeling. Great poem.

  • 12 years ago

    by BeautifulDisaster

    I loved this poem... the flow was amazing

  • 12 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Wow I loved this.. this is exactally how I feel from time to time. Its so hard to be away from the person you love, especially if you know that they might not come back to you.. Wow amazing emotion in this I heard it in every word you jotted down. Very creative 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by robin milford

    5/5 excellent work

  • 12 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    Another great poem! This had so much emotion tied into it. Wonderful read! 5/5

    marcella

  • 12 years ago

    by Synh

    This poem could be better. You started 4 of your 7 stanza's with the word 'But' and i found that a little irritating. You should put more emotion into it. Like, rather than saying what you feel like doing, describe the pain. Such as

    'All I want to do is cry'

    You could say:

    'Constantly I fight back the tears' or sometihng like that.

    Good write though, I enjoyed it. 4/5
    You

  • 12 years ago

    by LockedInEternity

    This was very cute...i thought it was very well written and the flow was outstanding and although very basic, it worked really well..5/5 :)...awesome job:)

  • 12 years ago

    by x.Athame.x

    A beautifully formed and emotion filled write. I especially loved the way you used the rhyme of 'long' and 'wrong' in both the first and last stanza. It really turns this piece into a cohesive piece; and sums it up nicely. Wonderful work on this one. *5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by e LIZ a beth

    I likey this poem. not your best 4/5 but i voted 5/5 anyway cause i love you
    :D

    there are a few things that i think should be fixed. uhm like in the last stanza you wrote, even seconds without you feel out of place and wrong. the fact that you put seconds made it ploral or w\e so you need feel to feel's. and the last line in the 5th stanza doesnt flow. its awakward sounding.

  • 12 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    Aww, okay let me get this straight.. you had a relationship and it was broken off? I didn't quite understand that. Very good poem though, again your rhyming and flow were great, you didn't force anything. Your emotion was perfect. You did a great job on this. I loved this part:

    But seeing you is hard to take
    Unbearable, so hard to do
    When I just want to hold your hand,
    To hug, to hold and to kiss you

    Excellent Job

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    I thought that this was a prime example of how many relationships are. very cute. 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by tryinXtoXholdXmyXheadXup

    Very well done poem, nice flow and rhyme. Near perfect there and a very true example of how relationships are great great great

  • 12 years ago

    by lisa

    I loved this poem.i think you did a great job all the way through!!! well done x lisa

  • 12 years ago

    by Boy

    All I want to do is cry
    And for you to hold me tight
    I want you to clear my tears
    And tell me things will be all right

    thts gr8 words. ur whole poem showed and leave amazing expression in my face... i thought about my lost love... gd wrk may u live long

  • 12 years ago

    by Mark

    I loved every word.

  • 12 years ago

    by togetherforever

    I love this poem its hella good....

  • Omg u dnt understand how much this sounds like me n my ex .Woo man creepy as.lol.i love it to pieces.
    xx

  • 12 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    The flow was really good... love the way you wrote this poem... its very well written... the emotions u up into it was really good as well...

    keep it up!