by Anonymous Angel   Apr 6, 2007

Do you know what i see,
when I close my eyes?
Me trapped in a web of lies.

When I open my mouth
things come out,
not the way they
were meant to say.

I never planned any of this,
none of my lies exists
It wasn't meant to happen this way,
Why wont you listen to what I have to say?

I want to tell the truth,
if we make a truce
forget all that I said,
Forget every tear that has been shed.

should I leave it like this? or change the end? because I'm not really satisfied about this poem. any critique is welcome...but be nice(A)


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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Effective from the beginning to the end. I like the way you wrote this piece. It is simple yet powerful. Emotions in it are described in a good way, and I can relate to it.
    The first stanza is my favorite.

  • 10 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    5/5 from me!!!

  • 10 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    Good work, I can feel the emotion of this one!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    5/5 i like this poem and i think its fine just the way it is : ) i wouldnt change it

  • 11 years ago

    by Mihaela

    That's a great poem....I have no words to express how much i hate lies...but you could do it...congratulations.Take good care of you.Best regards,XxXx