Comments : She is Not Worth it...

  • 10 years ago

    by Vanessa

    I really really loved this, I mean for a non rhyming poem i found this to be exceptionally. mean, the flow couldn't be better and the word choice is briallent, the emtion were deep and clear, perfectly penned, and amzingly written. great job, and you can take this as an hinest comment. 5/5 although in my mind you deserve more.

  • 10 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Out of the 3 i've read i found this to be your best. I loved the non-ryhme you pulled that off greatly, and not alot of people can do that. The flow flawlss. and your vocab choice was amazing for this poem. Truely the best i've read of yours. Well done on a nicely penned poem~mel

  • 10 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I think that by not rhyming this poem you made it a lot more enjoyable to read, and it said exactly what you felt. I loved the words and the meaning behind the poem - Excellent job 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Beautiful work...n by not rhyiming the poem flowed beautifully...n the choice of words was amazing n u've penned the emotions depl....great wrk!
    Kp it up!
    5/5!
    xxPoojaxx

  • 10 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Hum along too = hum along to

    smoke= fire (after all, it doesn't rhyme with anything.... i think... yea)

    Although it doesn't rhyme, it still should flow. This poem doesn't quite flow. Particularly, in this poem you need to work on syllabication. Your words are wonderful, but I just think that you need to fix that up. Along with the syllabication, I think that you need to as well, get punctuation into your poem... mostly at the end of each line... Not profusely, but enough to direct the reader where to go and whether or not to pause. it is important that the reader can go through the whole poem smoothly. =]

    Well done,
    5/5
    ~Stephen White

  • 10 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    Hum along too
    hum along to .

    But anyways, out of the three you gave me to do -- This one is definitely the best . The .. metaphorical uses [or whatever people call them xD] are really good . So many of the stanzas here I absolutely love . You`r choice of words and the way you put them together are just beautiful . It was kind of rocky, but I didn`t really notice cuhs` everything just meshed together really well .
    Freakin` awesome job [:
    ..__MiNDYY

  • 10 years ago

    by xo kisses xo

    Omg! that is wonderful u did a beautiful job writing that. i like it not rhyming. very well done 5/5

    xo kisses xo

  • 10 years ago

    by e LIZ a beth

    Great job, you already know my thoughts

  • 10 years ago

    by Doesnt matter

    OH MY GOSH!!! this is my favorite poem by you!

  • 10 years ago

    by Fsams

    Though this was a free verse, I did not feel that this doesnt rhyme. cz the flow was v beautiful. Perfect 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Startle Me

    On your first stanza...
    Syllable count really didn't flow well for this line
    She is the girl that he just can't make enough time for,
    She is the box marked important but left in the attic,
    The piece of toast left uneaten because it was burnt[[,]]
    That should be a period or a semi-colon :]

    She's the ice cream he wants[[,]] but is too fat to eat,
    Add a comma in there.

    Flow was off here as well
    She is the verse of his favorite song, that he has to hum along to,

    I kept hearing "She's the" It kind of annoyed me.
    I don't know, maybe it would sound better if you find something else that sounds like that or a synonym for that.

    All in all.
    Your flow was off.
    Your grammar was as well.
    I love your wording, doll
    And your topic.

  • 10 years ago

    by Startle Me

    I don't know if I should vote.
    I'm probably going to give you a 4.
    Sorry.

  • 10 years ago

    by Andrew Morton

    For something without a rhyming scheme it was really well written, it flows very nicely...many times people cram a word into a sentence that doesn't fit just because it has to rhyme, so its a refreshing change to see something raw like this, great work - keep it up

  • 10 years ago

    by Bug1219

    I like it it was really good in my opinion. keep it up

  • 10 years ago

    by Boy

    Aaah ahh itsawesome you compared very well wiht things. to her. i loved your poem take care 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by brie kelly wise

    I love the metaphors you use
    Great work
    You realted the person to objects very well
    The words were so good, that the flow doesn't matter
    Great work
    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Angel Of Death

    I love this poem, i love the way u wrote it and everythin.. great work keep it up 5/5
    xx

  • 10 years ago

    by rita

    Very nice poem good job

  • 10 years ago

    by mmHmm

    I really like your poem. It voices what a lot of people feel. i beleive poems don't have to rhyme and flow perfectly they're lyrics from the heart and they're the words that a lot of us feel but don't say

  • 10 years ago

    by Jerrica

    This poem is deep and very good it riminds me of a person I love.