The title is perfect, and no it doesnt say too much at all
i dont know weather this is a typo or not but in this line "Mother pleases his son and cries in shame" it says "his" but maybe it should be "her"...just wondering cause it didnt make sence.
anyways..i loved it...wow...mother and son...i thought it was original and absolutely adorned the ending about the happily ever after part...i thought that was the best part..i dont know why..maybe cause it was just in such a perfect place and thinking about how its mother and son and if theyll ever have a happily ever after with what theyre doing...its just,...ah..LOVEED IT!! 5/5
The poem in your mind seems right there and to the point , I would have to disagree with it. The thoughts seems hazy at best in the first part but when you get close to the ending middle you can get the whole thing. I think you should start this with a hook something that make the reader want to read on and then unfold the story gradually. Good idea bit I think it needs some work Plot121
I think the title is quite suitable and doesn't give too much away at all. I've never read a poem about incest before, so it's something very different to read. The flow was flawless and the rhyming well written. This is my favourite line, it really stood out to me;
'Knowing hell would be their happy laughter.'
I love the last stanza the most overall, it is a really good ending. Well done.
Once again a great poem about a very unique topic, the flow was great again and I think the title is perfect. The imagery was really well done and the poem ended strong - 4th stanza was my favourite - excellent work 5/5
The ending was unattractive, and I did not like your punctuation set-up in the first verse. The poem overall was OKAY, but most likely not your best.
Now, when you're talking about incest, usually like in the last poem you must attract the reader. Make it sensual slightly, but keep the necessities and the dishonor in tact. You must make the reader understand the urge that would make someone fall in love with family, or else the poem is a failure.
Your word use was okay, but slightly forced, and it seems as if you had the topic in mind and wanted to write in, and when you tried you found it was harder than you thought.
I think maybe you should retry writing one of these poems, see what you'd turn up with..
Hmm..this poem was ofcourse something which made me think...really hard for about 5 minutes! wow! lol well, yeh i got to say its quite awesome, the way you can come up with such unique topics. makes me like you poems even more because its all about life, how no matter who or what we are, we are all still human. all should e treated equally.
They lived their life in an unsheltered manner;
Face to face with the world cruel and unkind.
^^^my favorite lines. of course!
keep it up! xx =]
I actually have read and voted on this poem, when it appeared on the top recently voted poems. I still can't get over the fact that both mother and son are...in love with each other. o.O What an eccentric theme, indeed! Ha. I adored this piece of yours, nevertheless. The title amuses me in a rather strange manner. It's a pleasure to read, m'dear. Nice job. =]
The title fits perfectly I would never of guessed this poem was about the love of a mother and son. Another interesting topic from you and lets just say you do have lots of them. Your creativity definitly showed in this amazing piece of poetry. A good read. Well done~mel
i really liked this!!! it flowed really well, ALSO the words you rhymed were actually really good words!!!!
My fav stanza was this one...
"Lord would punish the forbidden love.
Their discipline would be inhumane.
Off the chairs they go, ecstasy all around.
Their sweet hunger they cannot abstain."
Reall liked that!!!!!!!!!
gave u 5
I though it was...interesting. i loved how you used the words, and the emotion was nice. I'm sorry, i just find it so odd. But i really liked how you fit it all together and made a story out of it! segoi!