Man,if this is based on a true situation,you totally almost made me cry..
don't worry,i totally understand what you mean..
other than that,
your rhythm was great except at some of the verses that didn't really rhyme..
But hey, who cares??,your poem was GREATLY WRITTEN!!
plus it was meaningful!
keep it up!
The rhyme and flow was mostly really good, apart from a couple of the last verses felt a bit forced, and there were a few spelling errors, but aside from that it was a brilliant poem on a good subject =]