Excellent poem. I wondered what it was going to be like after I read the title and 'cause it's in the sad category. I really like how it turned out to be about death; I didn't expect that.
Anyway, the flow of this poem was great except for one little thing. The second line of that last stanza, It's too much syllables, if you change the "can not" to "can't", that would definitly fix that problem.
This poem is good...but the rhyming seemed a little forced in places...and there is one line that i think is a little too long...
"But your death I can not ever deny."
^^ i agree with catastrophic beauty...maybe you should change can not to cant or take the word ever out of the poem....it would read alot better...but overall i like the poem so i give you a 4/5.. nice job.
Good descriptive words and I like how you use different words to rhyme with (rather than your typical words that are so predictable).
Well done - very sad (and maybe the only thing I could suggest is to make it a bit more emotional - I knew you were sad but it sounded like you weren't grieving when you wrote this - maybe numb or even over it and accepting it?)
Inferred.. I think it would be interred? I'm not sure.
Distraught isn't a verb.
Oh. Now I understand the weird flow of it. =D Um, a better way to "line up" your lines is to use the same number of syllables. It really makes the poem sound better, even if the lines are a little more off.
This was a wonderfully written poem. Learned a few new words from this poem, so that I am very happy about. This is basically the absolute excellence of poetic capability, not to be too overdramatic or anything. But, I simply loved it and thought it was sparkling clean, in form.
I believe in a little more free form approach, so maybe i am not a good judge of actual poetry mechanics. Anyway, i do like to think i am a good judge of the feelings behind a poem and this one is very well done. I say screw the rhyming schemes and all that mess, write what you feel, that always ends up being the most beautiful stuff anyway.