Comments : Somewhere Only We Know (contest)

  • 11 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This is such a sad poem full of love and emotion, it really hits home for me because my grandmother recently passed away as well. Fantastic word choice and the flow was perfect 5/5 GG23

  • 11 years ago

    by VYXSIN

    I know the feeling. i love the poem! well written and flow good. it was so nice, and i really dont know what to say. sorry about the loss, i guess, all you need to do is just be there for him. keep it up

    xx

  • 11 years ago

    by xxSuicidalxx

    That is sooooo sad! It was beautifully written and full of emtion...great job...very hearfrtfelt....I hope everything gets better!

  • 11 years ago

    by Wallace

    Very sad, I can see you really put your emotions into it for each line was full of meaning. Your imagery was fantastic as I could picture everything happening in my mind. This was my favorite stanza.

    At home you sob yourself to sleep,
    Whispering ' I love you ' as you go,
    Laying down next to you entering the world
    Of somewhere only we know.

    Very well done 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Blissful

    What a beautiful and moving piece! The emotions truly spoke to me and I could feel the pain of his loss. I do think the rhyme was kinda forced in the second stanza which threw of the flow for me but other than that it was a powerful piece. Well done *5/5*

  • 11 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    The only mistake I found was:

    But whatever you do don't smother me,

    You should put a comment between this, i got confused at first

    But whatever you do, don't smother me,

    there we go :) Overall .. a great poem. I gotta bf too.. its hard to comfort someone you love.. when you don't know how to comfort them.. Just be there to listen.. try to keep him happy you know?

    arighty. Poets Note:

    very well written: you showed great emotion and I felt as if I were sucked in the poem

    Flow: your flow was a little off and a way to fix that is to count the syllables in each line, you should have about the same amount in each line, some you have small and a few are longer, it cuts the flow a bit, but other than that it was good.

    Rhyming: well... you rhymed here and there, which is pretty interesting, i'm a big fan of rhyming, but you managed a fine poem with only a little, you used it when it was needed, helped the flow

    Word choice: i loved it. you chose the perfect words for it... my favorite word/line is:

    For fate is inevitable for life

    so true.. overall it was put together nicely.

    Excellent

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Shinobi

    A well express of emotions is shows here. Really touched me, loved every bit of the poem. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Oh my, this is so sad... Whole poem is greatly written, you expressed emotions in a great way, with deep descriptions.
    Whole piece is very touching, it almost brought the tears to my eyes.
    So much pain in every stanza... very effective yet so heartfelt.
    Great job!
    5/5 from me

  • 11 years ago

    by chind

    Wow.
    this poems really sad.
    i could sense the emotion in this one.

    "Our world. A lifeline which blocks out pain.
    Tears made me soaking wet,
    Swallowing your sadness in love and care
    For I am all you have left."

    my fav. stanza.
    this stanza almost made me cry.

    i loved the poem.
    5/5

    xo.cindy

  • 11 years ago

    by xXxemzxXx

    This is a trully very sad and emotional poem i lost my grandmother a while ago yet no matter what it still hurts i love this poem i think its a really powerful poem and juz be strong

    --emz--

  • 11 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    Great!!! Definitely 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by PennyM850

    How sad - but well written

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Very sad, but beautifully written. Good job!!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Jaymes Haze

    Becuase of the reason behind the poem, I'm going to save the poetic suggestions to myself.

    I am sorry for your families loss, I too have lost a grandparent so I understand the feeling you conveyed in the message to us.

    The poem was beautiful and it struck a chord within my own heart.
    If I let myself go I might even be crying.

    'A Morning for Mourning'