I know the feeling. i love the poem! well written and flow good. it was so nice, and i really dont know what to say. sorry about the loss, i guess, all you need to do is just be there for him. keep it up
What a beautiful and moving piece! The emotions truly spoke to me and I could feel the pain of his loss. I do think the rhyme was kinda forced in the second stanza which threw of the flow for me but other than that it was a powerful piece. Well done *5/5*
You should put a comment between this, i got confused at first
But whatever you do, don't smother me,
there we go :) Overall .. a great poem. I gotta bf too.. its hard to comfort someone you love.. when you don't know how to comfort them.. Just be there to listen.. try to keep him happy you know?
arighty. Poets Note:
very well written: you showed great emotion and I felt as if I were sucked in the poem
Flow: your flow was a little off and a way to fix that is to count the syllables in each line, you should have about the same amount in each line, some you have small and a few are longer, it cuts the flow a bit, but other than that it was good.
Rhyming: well... you rhymed here and there, which is pretty interesting, i'm a big fan of rhyming, but you managed a fine poem with only a little, you used it when it was needed, helped the flow
Word choice: i loved it. you chose the perfect words for it... my favorite word/line is:
Oh my, this is so sad... Whole poem is greatly written, you expressed emotions in a great way, with deep descriptions.
Whole piece is very touching, it almost brought the tears to my eyes.
So much pain in every stanza... very effective yet so heartfelt.
5/5 from me
11 years ago
this poems really sad.
i could sense the emotion in this one.
"Our world. A lifeline which blocks out pain.
Tears made me soaking wet,
Swallowing your sadness in love and care
For I am all you have left."