I used to look down on others
because I wanted them to look up at me;
Even when soft and caring I seem to be
I hide within me hatred even much so stronger,
so intense, that no love could balance it out
I murder my thoughts and erase the blood
when I see your shallow happy faces
acting as if you're indeed happy,
because no-one's happy
No-one can be truly happy
I lack courage and will
despite pretending otherwise,
and even when you kept on walking
I stayed far behind
I lie every time I say "I'm fine",
I scream when I'm out of words;
The silence is all I have
when sorrow reins me in;
I smile when I need a facade,
a lie to protect myself
I'm all alone even in crowded streets,
and I like to pretend that no-one notices me:
Like the whole world is blind but I,
yet my arrogant illusions fall short
when rational thought is applied,
because there's nowhere I could ever hide
I toy with people as if they were puppets,
with piano strings strangling every hope for more;
I'd tear any walls down just to get a new perspective,
and I tear down People just to feed my curiosity
So expect nothing from me,
for my love is cruel:
You'll never be able to see my real smile,
and the only time I genuinely laugh
is when I really want to die.
