An Amnesiac's Lament

2014-11-02 16:55

I don't desire anything notable anymore
aside from the endless beyond
to consume the noise in my senses,
and bless me with silence.

It's not like I want to die, not really,
it's just that I'm tired of living.

I'm exhausted with people,
and wearing multiple masks -
to have many faces -
is just too draining.

And I'm tired of having
a myriad faces.
I'm tired of not recognizing
my own reflection.

I've forsaken the light,
though I can't remember when.
I can't really remember anything.
Which one could think is useful.

But it doesn't help me sleep at night.
I rarely sleep now - and I can't dream.
Everything I am now is but a vestige
of who I used to be.

An amnesiac with insomnia;
I am a ghost in someone else's body.
I can feel that other person's presence,
locked up tightly in the fog of memories.

I wish I could give that person their body back.
I don't want this stolen body anymore.

Because even though I don't want to die,
I'm just too tired of living.