But somewhere right now
they aren't okay
they aren't alright.
exclaimed in texts, "i'm fine"
"don't worry about me"
"it isn't that bad".
it is that bad though
because they're lying in a pool of blood
from the self loathing of themselves
from the voices that haunt them forever.
they could be your best friend
or your sister
your dad
your favorite person in this world.
they could have a million reasons to be worthwhile
they could be beautiful and smart
or they could be ordinary
and they still sit there
picking out the flaws
tearing skin apart just to feel something
because they don't remember the last time they did.
there's this place called hell
some of us have visited it
some feel it every waking moment
that's what they're in.
their own internal hell
where the devil is demons manifesting into nightmares
tormenting them so they can't sleep at night.
they send you that text
and your heart shatters
the moment you read their words.
"goodbye"
how could you have missed it
the signs must have been visible.
they hid it too well
and you'll always believe it was your fault
even though it's not.
they're gone
your friend since diapers
or your mom
or your biggest idol for life
they've taken that leap
they've tied that rope
they've made that decision
that life isn't worth it anymore.
you're at their funeral
crying your eyes out
wishing it could be different
guilt overwhelming your heart
as if you could have saved them.
they didn't say anything though
they suffered silently
closed the doors off to help
& it got too bad
where they couldn't fight this anymore.
your memories will never disappear
but they hurt
they hurt more than having every bone broken
more than being denied by the one you love.
losing the person that means everything to you
to something so tragic that could be prevented
is one of the worst feelings imaginable.
but remember
you have a choice
when you see that boy walking down the hall
tears down his face
scars on his arms
don't ignore him this time
be kind to him.
remember
when you see her call that person a name
think about what's behind that anger
think about the words she's been called
talk to her.
remember
when they say "goodbye"
that it will be proceeded by a hello soon enough.
never take anyone for granted
and show them they're worth it.
because you know
how much it hurts
when someone dies
thinking they're a failure.
