I never even once cherished
how radiant her smile is,
even capable of bringing dawn
to wake up us from the sorrow of sleep
I never once learned to love
the Me that had something to live for;
I never even once learned to accept
the present as a gateway to the future
I drove her kindness away with hollow words,
and I brought ruin into our kingdoms
and beckoned endings to our joy;
and never once did I ever Live
I chained all of my hope
inside a prison of grief and self-pity,
crushing hearts and breaking people
because I didn't think I deserved happiness
I pushed all of our dreams into bottomless holes,
inviting the darkness of infinity into the empty space
that I let expand like a black hole between our souls,
and I welcomed my own destruction
For I have always served
the goddess of Storm and Grief,
living life like it's my own funeral;
I vomit my soul out like shards of glass
to paint the paper with the blood of my poems,
hoping that in this space of regret and honesty
at least I will get to be somebody --
