A Jacket of Lead

by Kakera   Apr 21, 2016


His last words linger
as faint yet resonating echoes
bouncing through
the corridors of my mind,
starting as gentle vibrations
that turn into cataclysmic quakes.

Time continues flowing -
rushing, even, like a tsunami
that moves everyone forward
from each moment to the next
with violence and abandon;

But Time, for me,
is something I experience
as a calm lake without ripples
that guards the coffin
I'm trapped inside,
at the very bottom.

The past and present
is my prison, and I'm drowning.
I claw at this cage until my fingers bleed,
but all I can feel is my breath being stolen
as I drown; as I rot; as I am seduced
by the infinity of my lack of power
to change what has already transpired:

I engage in love making
with the self-loathing
that blossoms
within my punctured veins
and poisoned heart,

as the guilt and grief
encumbers my soul
as if it were a jacket of lead,
that is the vexing warden
keeping me trapped
at the bottom, underwater,
until I lose my ability to breathe.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    This is very powerful and I believe that's how depression can make us feel. Trapped, drowning and imprisoned because of all the emotions we feel at once yet cannot explain.

    I engage in love making
    with the self-loathing that blossoms
    within my punctured veins
    and poisoned heart,
    as the guilt and grief
    encumbers my soul
    as if it were a jacket of lead,
    that is the vexing warden
    keeping me trapped
    at the bottom, underwater,
    losing my ability to breathe.
    ^^
    This is the most powerful part of writing I have read in ages. You have been hurt throughout life and it shows because you feel trapped and self-loathing.

    Take care Em

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