Here to Stay

Too bad life isn't written on paper,
You can't go back and erase your mistakes.
I've tried so hard, to cut it out,
But each time i do, another heart breaks.

It's funny how people say they care,
But deep inside, they really don't.
It's also strange how people say they'll be there,
But in the end, you find they won't.

It's weird how you say you love me,
And not to do it, cuz it causes you pain.
But really, you don't love me at all,
You're just preventing me from feeling better again.

It's funny how i believed you,
When it's happened so many times before.
You'd think that I'd learned my lesson,
But i keep coming back for more.

I guess my heart thinks that a moment of happiness,
Is worth a lifetime full of hurt.
I guess feeling just the slightest form of bliss,
Is worth the pain that i don't even deserve.

Or maybe i do deserve it,
Maybe it's because I'm so stupid for getting caught up.
For believing everything you tell me,
It's my punishment for thinking you give a f^ck.

The regrets live on forever,
And the memories never fade.
The scars will always be there,
From all the times I've been betrayed.

But it makes me who i am,
I am weak, stupid, and me.
I am everything you don't understand,
With a pain, you'll never see.

I'm the girl who looks in the mirror and trembles,
Hating the person she sees.
More than anything around her,
It's her own fault that she bleeds.

I'm the girl that is too stupid,
To learn from her own mistakes.
She keeps letting the pain grow stronger,
It won't be too long until she breaks.

You may look at my eyes, filled with pain,
And love is all you see.
But deep inside, I'm dying,
You won't believe it until you see the real me.

Few people have noticed,
The pain i hide so well.
The smile i place, upon my face,
Covers the regrets of all the times I've fell.

The pain still lives within me,
It will never go away.
No matter how much you try to cut it out,
The memories are here to stay....

*~I know this poem sucks. And you may not understand it, but i hope you do~*