I Swear I'm Not

I'm not a f@cken murderer!
It was not my choice.
You might have done the same
If you had heard the plea in his voice.

There was no time to decide
If what I was about to do was wrong.
Maybe if I had taken the time
My baby wouldn't be gone.

What would you be willing to do
For the one you love?
Apparently giving my baby up
Would never be enough!

I did it because I honestly thought
That I had truly loved him.
But now I'm left feeling empty,
Tears rolling down my chin.

I believed that he would
At least be there for me.
If only I hadn't been so blinded,
I would've know what I now see.

I gave up my child
Because he asked me to.
I now realise
It was the stupidest thing I could do.

I would be
Nearly nine months pregnant now.
I wish I could have my baby back,
If only I knew how.

I didn't mean to kill me baby,
Please understand.
I promised to do anything
To keep Charlie as my man.

But if I had had any idea
That I'd feel as I do today,
I would never have given up my child,
Not a chance; no way!

I'm not a f@cken murderer!
I swear to God, I'm not!
An image of what could've been
Is now all I've got.

In a week I could've had
A baby boy or girl.
Oh the joy
It would have brought into my world.

But now all I'm left with
Are dismal memories
Of what could've happened,
What could've been...

Copyright©JosieWentzel12February2008