wow, good job! i wish that some of my poems were like that..... great job, keep it up! :)

terrific!! and so nice to see something unique..I like my poems but there really isn't much different about them from the rest..thx..good job! :) Michelle

great poem, your are really talented, i look forward to reading more from you
jemma xxx

WOW! I really enjoyed this. More poems please! :o)

wow i wish i had talent like that
its crazy how u can think of many things like that i wish i could write like that...

another good one u r awesome keep writing

Another awesome poem. I really like the way you write. I really hope you keep writing and posting them up here.

-Blue ^_~

Wow!! This poem was really beautiful!!! Good job!!! I can't wait to read more!! Wonderful job!
Amy

Not bad Randy....not especially good either....i won't remember it after i leave this website....but keep at it.

Really good poem, thanks for commenting on mine too. Keep it up

very meaningful, but not ur best.

great poem.... good wording and loved the form... im sorry, i wish i could say more and give you more feed back but im really depressed right now and im not in the cheerful mood im usually in... sorry.... hope you keep up the good work...

LOL i thought YikYak would of been here first trying to hit on you, your not the first and you wont be the last.
I loved this poem, amazing rhyming style and you have lots of talent xx

Another excellent poem Randy East. You've definitely been receving many comments concerning peoples' reactions to this poem, so I will attempt to constructively critique it as much as possible. Your short lines threw me off at first, but I decided to draw two conclusions from them. First is that they made me feel short of breath, and maybe that was an intended effect. The second conclusion was that I should read this poem out loud. When I did so I found that your poem rhymed, for the most part, which is something I would not have noticed had I just read it silently. There are a few parts, particularly the final stanza, where I could not find a rhyme. However, it is not necessary to conform to any type of rhyme scheme, and so I felt that this poem was very well written, and it conveyed a message that I felt was very powerful! Good work!

That is so sweet the flow of words was very nice and the gentle state of writing was wonderful and it was just amazing

Nows my chance to let you know
exactly how I feel.
With fiery words of love and care,
that warm a winters chill.

^i like it. take the chance wen u get it to tell sumone how you trulie feel about them. take it. but u cant realie tell sumone exactly how u feel just it's true. cuz the only one that know exactly how u feel it U. =] nice flow as well

You mean to me a river
of endless flowing love.
Who's waters are as pure
as the whitest country dove.

^awww... truly beautiful word you write here. i realie wouldnt change anythiing here. just lovely indeed =]

I need you like I need to breathe,
As important as a growing seed.
Who's life depends on love and light
And shelter on a stormy night

^the flow was amazing. love the words u choose once again.

You are my love.
You are my light.
You are my shelter
On that night.

^i like it.

That night when I am lost at sea
and cannot find my way.
You are the lighthouse of my life,
with a perfect shinning ray.

^u sorta lost a bit of the flow here but it's okay well to me cuz ur piece is beautiful as it is.

Our love will last forever...
Or is Eternity defined?
For those two words are trapped,
encased in the spans of time.

^nice word n i truly love poems with questions.

For what we have together
is not etched in chalk.
Our love is far more infinite.
It completely stops the clock.

^hmm... you made me think here.

The tenderness of your kiss,
creates a sudden stop in time
As if your perfect body hourglass
Were laying softly on its side.

^awwwwwwwww.... i LOVE it. amazing words. powerful meanin. great job indeed. keep it up!!!

5/5

TaKe CaRe,
Frenchy

I really like all the love and emotion put into this poem.
i felt it from the depths of my soul
great job.
it flowed nicely and the rhyme was spot on
5/5

Wow this is really wonderful. Nice writing.
I can definitely see how we relate. I hope everything works out with you. i believe you will know when the right person comes into your life.
You wont have the need to pursue other relationships, and the two of you will be devoted to only each other. You just got to find her.
I will definitely be reading all your poems.

This is really beautiful full of emotion, 5/5. Em

Ahh yes! You were right, I enjoyed it. For your first poem, this was beautifully written. Loved it.
5/5