Making a mistake

I tried so hard to figure out what i did wrong// what those things where// and how i could change them

the time that it took was too long// my heart has a stutter// i shouldn't have given it too him

even then, when i thought that was it// i had no idea what IT even was// i still don't think i know now

i do know he never gave a shit// that I'm better than i ever was// and there's no need to figure out how

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but right now at this moment// there's a choice i need to make

there is no way to tell// if this will be another mistake

i want to give you all i am// but will i keep you in the end?

will you leave me when i need you most- just another mistake i can't defend?

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I'm trying so hard to figure out if this love is wrong// my heart wants to surrender// if anyone deserves it, it's him

i need his love; it's been so long// i don't have to be a defender// i know that i will give in

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but right now at this moment// there's a choice i gotta make

i know there's now way to tell// if this is just another mistake

i will give you all i am// i know you'll give it in return

and in the end if there is an end// it's just another bridge i burned

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but what if i just "think" this is it// what if i don't know what this is// what if i just don't care now?

if i get hurt, i don't give a shit// i know what this is// i don't care how