I really liked this poem, and I think the title made it great because i'm not sure that if I hadn't read it I would know what the poem was about. I really liked the lines "All of 'em are so believable.
[Too bad they're fake]"
and I loved how you used parenthesis and brackets. You're the first one on P&Q I've seen use them.
I think the flow could improve a little though, if you worked on it with the "sorry sweetie" line towards the end, it could really pack a punch.
Great job. =]

I don't think this needs anything else, it's great as it is. I was a little confused at first (my brain is in slow-mo today) but by the second stanza I'd got the jist of what was going on. I love the fact that there's no defined, consistent structure. Usually that bugs me because I have a thing about things having to be symmetrical and neat (no I don't have OCD, I'm just a little odd haha) but I think the way you laid this out worked really well. I especially loved the

"Tick tock
Tick tock"

I kind of swayed my head from side to side as I read it haha. I love the ending too, reflects back on the rest of the poem and is just generally awesome.

5/5

Em xXx

Some times random writtings can bring out our best. great job one suggestion-

there's now way you could do better
should be
there's NO way you could do better

just thought I'd help
thanks for the read.
:-}

Oh my I just loved this! The style was unique and amazing to reading because everything just flowed so flawlessly. I loved your use of brackets .. it was effective in expressing your message. I loved the poem just as is because I could tell you put thought an meaning behind each and every one of your words. Well done *5/5*

Before i say anything..i just wanna say thanks for the comment and the advice!.. i took your advice and changed the stanza.. thanks a lot! sounds much better =)

ok now about your poem.. amazing!.. don't change a thing.. i love the style and the way it was written.. and its interesting how it is just some of your random thoughts..

as someone else pointed out.. the title tells a lot.. without the title it would just seem like someone's chaotic inner self and thoughts but it was very interesting to read. I really enjoyed it.

It pulled me in and grabbed my attention right away. Excellent job!.. Very nicely written.. keep it up =) 5/5

I really liked this poem, yu wrote it very well and the emotions are great.5/5

The emotions in this poem were raw and amazingly expressed. your a gret poet and this poem is amazing.

Poem was good but bad brackets placing...

I get it, so great l love the way you write 5/5

Wow, this poem is astonishing. Very brilliant... The flow was great, the word choice was decent, and the concept as AMAZING. I really love this poem. 5/5

Wow...
This is so powerful, excellently written from the first to the last line. I like the topic a lot, and the flow that you created in the whole poem is interesting. I've never read a poem quite like this one, it's refreshing and very effective. I like your writing style.
Your choice of words through this piece is great, and the message of the poem is meaningful.

- A kiss on the cheek, but never the lips; Sorry sweetie, personal isn't their -style-.
^^^
Nicely said.

- Cut a little deeper,
[with the needle as your {true} love]-
^^^
Very very powerful lines.

I don't think that it's unfinished, in fact you ended it on truly fantastic way.

Keep up!
5/5 from me

I'm usually not into poems like this one. But the story line was great. And the whole idea of it was really interesting! Loved the 'tick tock' part. Keep it up!

Very good write. The emotion was portrayed wonderful throughout this piece. Also, I loved the vocabulary you used. Imagery was on point. The creativity cannot be matched...I've read quite a few poems today and this is by far the best read =}
Overall perfectly written.
5/5

For a random write this was really good.It held a mystery to it.The little {} things kinda through me off but the side notes were great.5/5

<3Amber

I think you should end it there. It sums up the whole emotion rather nicely. Adding to it would subtract from it.

I loved this..i really enjoyed this...the fact that u havent been through this.. and ur imagry is remarkable..and yes i belive u should continue writing

The style of this poem is very original. I must admit that the title really captured my attention for personal reasons. In a perfect world no one would have knowledge of junkie prostitutes. Especially seventeen year old youths, but you did a great job with this theme

Ummm....
Little long and hard to understand... But, Nice poem... Keep up this good work (4/5)

I like it just the way it is

This poem was really good, but somehow confusing. Although, the imagery in this really portrays the feeling of the prostitute, but it's somehow confusing. I really liked it though. It was really good. I'll still give it a 5/5. You could probably continue it a bit, but it does look good the way it is. Great job!

.:CiNdY:.