Fake smiles with crocodile tears

by Sherry Lynn   Mar 12, 2008


Fake smiles with crocodile tears
Afraid to acknowledge your absence
Pretending as though you are still here
Thoughts of our past dance in my head

Happy moments keep me going
Unable to fathom what really happened
Another scar across my heart
No repair can mend the wounds

Fake smiles with crocodile tears
Cannot even say what took place
How can I tell anyone else
When I refuse to accept it myself

Depression tries to consume me
Happiness is lost in history
Ever heard of fake it til you make it
Well, my dear, that has become me

Fake smiles with crocodile tears
A step away from murder
How dare anyone touch you
The pain cuts to deep to bare

1


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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Rasheed Khokhar

    Very Nice Peace of Work... I like This....:)

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    I loved how you used " crocodile tears " instead of like " painful tears " or something less boombam, if that makes any sense. It emphasizes it more, I believe.

    Now, the first stanza seemed a bit off, but the emotion in it kind of hid the odd flow thing. It wasn't horrible, and the last two lines just kind of threw me off, with the other two lines. ( When I read them separately, they were just fine. . . ). but, it's probably just my way of reading it.

    I loved the ending, you did such a good job with it, dear. And,
    " Ever heard of fake it til you make it.
    Well, my dear, that has become me"

    ^^ Those are amazing lines, I was so drawn to them. (:

    " . . . cuts to deep to bare" << too*

    You did such a wonderful job with this poem, Sherry. I loved every bit of it. The words were an amazing choice and the emotion was perfect through-out the entire piece. It was a strong emotion, too , not just emotion, lol.

    Keep it up, dear.

  • 16 years ago

    by JEFF

    Another great poem, and yet another question.

    I've never seen a croc cry, so please explain to me What a croc tear looks like?

    Maybe I just haven't gotten close enough and believe me I doubt I will ever get that close....lol.

    great poem. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Not

    Great poem , once upon a time that was me and i hope you overcome this....4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Normal is the Watchword

    The paragraph that stood out to me the most was the final one, it rounded out the poem beyond words, but maybe that is because I was stricken in awe by this line, "How dare anyone touch you/the pain cuts to deep to bare." As I have been through this line in another situation that stings my heart. I liked the whole theme of fake smiles and crododile tears, but I did not like the idea presented more than once in those words, sorry, I just think that once you establish it you should use it as a base and spring out, branch out, in other directions.

    Instead of repeating the words, I think you should have gone into more detail about these, "Happy moments keep me going" and then pull the reader into the depths of what seems like a troubled soul with the line, "Unable to fathom what really happened"

    Once you establish that the poem is an narrative from first point of view, which I didn't really see this with your poem, you should stick to using one I maybe. You don't have a lot, in fact barely any, and I like that except you mix it with more than one or to you or variations and my. Where is the description that would make me fell the pain, as a reader, that this narrator is talking about?

    No repair can mend these wounds but what exactly are the wounds or the effects from them? Is it just the fake smile and crocodile tears?

    I liked the final paragraph as I have already told you, and a couple of the lines I have pointed out I really liked as well. I also liked the structure that you based htis off of, very even, and I didn't have to stumble over words.