Comments : My Masters Puppet

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    I think you really managed to keep the tempo going and the gloomy atmosphere.
    Great job.

    I hope it would be a start of a flowing river of poems after your so-long writer's block :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    Tears unable to be shed..
    This was my fav line..this piece flows well...a 5 from me

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Oh my,oh my..
    how did you manage to shove so much sadness
    into 3 little stanza's..

    put the sadness aside a bit..
    and I find this creative..

    " no one to console
    Left desolated, isolated, - alone"

    that almost had me saying the F word..:p
    since you played with words so good there..
    I find this has a certain flow to it,
    that you just can't read it slow..'

    It almost makes you feel like a puppet indeed..
    like someone is pulling your strings and making you move really really fast and you get all jumbled...

    Great piece!!

    - Yakz

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    You made your way with your words.
    I like the idea behind it. and the title can tell the reader what this poem was about. It sad when we are control by someone and we don't have a saying other than just follow what someone want us to do.

  • 12 years ago

    by Amreen

    While the heart breaks
    Unspoken words flood within
    Tears unable to be shed
    Searching for a glimpse of happiness

    ^
    a beautiful verse and has deep meaning..though it is a bit common it seems,but the wordings and lineage is different...

    Now a puppet on a string
    Desperate to please the world
    Failing at every attempt,
    Creating more harm instead

    ^
    A very true verse and so original..I mean this verse saddens me and clings the reader to the poem...quite good...

    you had a great write and 5/5 from me....keep up the good work...:))

  • 12 years ago

    by Something Diabolical

    I really enjoyed reading this yet its so sad
    a really good piece here

    i loved your choice of words, kept the flow going

    "Now a puppet on a string
    Desperate to please the world
    Failing at every attempt,
    Creating more harm instead"

    defo fav stansa

    Keep it up!
    Hopefully this is a start to many more poems, damn writers block!

    5/5 from me

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Wow this poem is amazing. You have penned a perfect piece. I would say more but so much has already been said. 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow... I'm speechless... This poem is amazing and extremely well-written! I really enjoyed it! I could relate to it completely, and it really touched me. The title of the poem caught my attention, and I just loved the poem from beginning to end.

    The opening stanza was beautiful and raw - I couldn't have worded it better.

    I think the ending was perfect - and said it all... I loved the last two lines:

    No emotions are to be displayed,
    For it is the puppet masters way.

    -- It think there was more meaning the way you wrote this, by saying "for it is the puppet master's way" ... it just made the puppet master's control even more evident.

    Great job with this poem!

  • 12 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    I have not read much of your work, but this one that I ran in to is really stirring.....sad emotions trapped within a broken heart, but expressing vulnerability in a sort of different way...a story depicting hopelessness of an unappreciated soul....captured in her helplessness. The end stanza captures the abject mood of the writer in all its nobility:

    Just a puppet in a game
    Unable to utter a word.
    No emotions are to be displayed,
    For it is the puppet masters way.

    Poignant, pensive, humble and perhaps the most pursuasive sad poem of the week penned with near perfection.

  • 12 years ago

    by Sunshine

    I have read many of your poems, and commented lots of them before, however I was reading the comments by my fellow writers here, and would have loved to see some analysis to what's behind the metaphors...

    I can tell you just like some others have, that it's drenched with sadness, etc but I'd be writing you jut another poem if I do so...what I'm trying to say, is, that such a poem deserves deep thinking, real feedback, and no bet a honest one!

    the sentence structure was perfect, it was very easy to understand the meaning behind your lines ( not image) just as a meaning the poem was shining with it's clarity! which I loved.

    the word choice, metaphors, and phrases were all corelated and revolved in a coherent way to serve the same massage, you didn't jump from one idea to another, as though you were aware of the type of sadness, perhaps calm anger that you felt and had the right words to express it! which is no bet, skillful !

    I was really fond of the general impact I've got while reading this one, it in an unintentional and perhaps intentionally left me with an image about how many people are played by a bigger hand.. perhaps someone who controls us, perhaps it's destiny..perhaps perhaps..many to fill the blank. And when I crossed the lines about the tears unshed, as if it made me think about the times when we are hurt and unable to defend ourselves, or dnt find the right way to make a stand for our rights...maybe cause "puppets" dont cry in the 1st place ? ;)

    It's just magical how many conclusions I was able to come up with while trying to study the personalities you conveyed in this piece, hats off Sherry, my next weeks nomination!

    Five < but who cares !

  • 12 years ago

    by RSJ

    Nothing else I can add that haven't been said already,
    you should know this not only does this is worth a nomination
    but a definite win
    totally @ a loss of words.

  • 12 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    An addendum (unfortunately Janis's new magic EDIT button only works once):

    A little different version with a twist and juxtaposition of lines and play of words to match your emotions in this wonderfully sad verse:

    Unspoken words flood the mind
    Tears unable to be shed
    Searching for a glimpse of happiness
    within a totally broken heart

    Like a puppet on a string
    dancing to the puppeteer's whims
    confused and saddened
    By the havoc on life's highways,

    Abandoned heart, with no one to rescue
    Left forlorn in a dismal life's show
    bleeding, with each pull of the string
    tethered but nowhere to go

    Just a puppet in a game
    of silent, berefit emotions
    None that can be displayed
    For it is the puppet masters game.

    My apologies on the plagiarism with your very touching words in this beautiful but sad verse, but unfortunately could not resist, Ms. Sunshine's challenge (above) to my naivety.

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    I ran into this poem once again, and I couldn't overlook Ms. Sunshine's comment.
    And it somehow challenged me..

    So here are my thoughts on your poem.

    While the heart breaks
    Unspoken words flood within
    Tears unable to be shed
    Searching for a glimpse of happiness

    ----- while we are feeling sadden by any type of circumstance that makes our heart break,
    there are words that we wish to utter, in fact so many, but its hard to accommodate them and state them the right way.
    As a result, we remain with them. We want to cry and let the tears run without stop, but we absent because there is still some hope.
    We are searching for happiness even the slightest.

    And I'm thinking that your happiness is seeing others smile since that's the purpose of puppets. Entertain others and make them happy.

    Now a puppet on a string
    Desperate to please the world
    Failing at every attempt,
    Creating more harm instead

    ----- now you feel like a puppet who doesn't want to do anything else other than to please other people,
    to make them smile and fulfill your job. But you feel useless, not everyone is happy and you think that instead of doing a good thing
    you are making things worst.

    Left confused and saddened
    By the havoc on life's highways,
    Nowhere to turn - no one to console
    Left desolated, isolated, - alone

    ---- hmm... so you are confused because life is unpredictable and you feel like you have no support from anyone, just alone.
    That despite making others happy, they don't appreciate you and pretty much you feel like a zero to the right of the period.

    Now this can also be interpret as follows:

    You are a puppet but there is no one else for you to console, you are just there alone. Everyone left, right after you finished your show.
    everyone leaves with a happy smile and you are just there alone even without your puppeteer.

    Just a puppet in a game
    Unable to utter a word.
    No emotions are to be displayed,
    For it is the puppet masters way.

    ---- You feel like you have no saying in this world and in this game call life.
    You feel like no showing emotions is better to fulfill your job and to make better decisions.

    now this makes me wonder.
    "For it is the puppet masters way."

    Do you mean the puppet's master way? or the puppet masters way.

    So if its the first one, you are referring to someone in particular.
    the second one to many, then you call masters to those people in your life because you obey them without complaining.

    In order words, you pretty much want to make people smile and forget about your emotions, you just care for them.
    And about the puppets masters way. You could have been referring to god and the game life; you want to make others happy because of him.
    But you could also be referring to a lover or someone else
    who is restricting you from thinking and showing emotions.

    In either case, the sad part is the way you feel.

  • 12 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I believe most of us can relate to a feeling that nothing comes without strings attach . The middle of this poem reminds me of a favorite line from Bob dylan's song Sugar Baby Sometimes when we try to make things better for someone we end up making it a thousand times worse.

  • 12 years ago

    by Karla

    I was reading your piece when two things crossed my mind:
    A shadow play
    and
    A hidden affair

    Emotions are displayed perfectly in a shadow play only if the puppetter is talented and it is just the opposite in a hidden love affair. If the master is good, emotions should be swallowed as a part of the game.When you are in someone else's hands, specially involved in a forbidden love affair, s/he has to be or learn how to be a good actress/actor in public. Some things are so hard to conceal when love is the word.Sometimes the master loses control of the situation and we all know how things like that end.
    Your piece reminded me of George Michael's Cowboys and Angels:

    When your heart`s in someone else`s hands
    Monkey see and monkey do
    Their wish is your command
    You`re not to blame
    Everyone`s the same
    All you do is love and love is all you do
    I should know by now the way
    I fought for you
    You`re not to blame
    Everyone`s the same
    I know you think that you`re safe,Mister
    (...)