You make me feel like dying...

by Mr Rhee   Mar 13, 2008


I watch you sit across from me,
while you chat on your phone.
You make me feel like I'm not there,
as though my existance didn't matter anymore.

I watch you look through me,
while your mind wanders from place to place.
You make me feel unimportant,
as though someone else has that place now.

I watch you smile at a name,
while you think of the face.
You make me feel like hating you,
as though I possibly could make myself.

I watch you hate me with your eyes,
while you wish you didn't know me.
You make me feel like dying,
as though I could really live without you.

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  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Very well written...

    "I watch you hate me with your eyes,
    while you wish you didn't know me.
    You make me feel like dying,
    as though I could really live without you. "

    ^^I liked the last stanza the most...specially the last line... so much emotion is hidden behind those words..

    good work..

  • 16 years ago

    by Trying to hold on

    How very honestly spoken and penned, sure many will relate which is always a nice thing to reach out to others, so they and you know you're not alone in a feeling like this.
    You've made it flow well but I kept expecting it to rhyme, rhyming is not always essential but felt this piece would work well with that. But that aside I actually think that there was a strong rhythm which held the power and sadness of these words up and made your piece beautifully unique.
    Well done, 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by RavishingEruption

    Wow...again i say "WOW". you have taken the lowest points in a relationship and turned them into the most amazing works of emotional art i have seen in a long time. Take it im only 15 but...lol. I know what i like when i see it...or read it in this case. 5/5

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