Now: what i am

Pretty confusing feeling ,

i wonder why this little girl that once sit on the sand is now soo depressed???

Good.. Liike It ! ;)

Well i wont critiside yuo like the hitler of the site , jenifer,

i lie perfrect poems but i like fluent feelings too iand i found this one very good one

but alittle advice , if ui may is to make paragraphs in it , for the reader eye, 1 paragraphs are always bad make readers escape reading !!

This is a really simple poem but because its so simple it makes it seem as though it has a twist in a way...like..no matter how simple the words you used it made the poem seem so much more deeper and realistic...My favorite lines were :

to this world and my life.
so i give myself up to my knife.

These two lines cut across everything else you wrote in this poem =] amazing job mwah xxx

Now..

the imagery at the start was very good, you could atucally see the little girl in your head. i liked the structure to this poem, and the shortness. the little story and the images are very good, also the fact that you used a 'little' girl gives it a sense of innocence, the rest of the story shows destroying the innocent, the rhyme scheme AABBCC, is a very good one, that matched this poem spot on. i also like the retorical question in the midlle, it catchs your attention quite alot. the last line, is very good, you can feel the feelings behind it. although i like this poem alot more than the last one i read i think the simplicity works better in this poem.

amy x