After almost a year
full of happiness, joy and self relief
after i started to believe that there is a true friend
out there for me
i started to change my mind
that friends and friendship are something we should not seek for
and we should put it aside, behind our backs
that no one can be your true friend
unless they need something in return, favor is what they call!!
after spending a full year finding some one who i can really trust
who i can really adore and love as my brother and cousin
as everything good i have ever had in my life after he was really like my lucky charm
i can not go to any game or any exam without taking my good luck wish
other wise my day is ruined
who gave me the best day ever
when he text-ed me on my cell phone
saying " just wanted to wish you a happy, good morning my favourite friend"
when no one was able to convince me with anything good apart from him
when no one was able to understand me
but only him and no one but him!!
when everyone knew that my life was mostly my close friend and that is how it will remain till the end
he fell in love .. and i did not mind
because that is life .. i will not hold you tight
but what was so hard for me to believe
what was so hard for me to think that it was real
is that ..
he promised that he will always be near
that he will always hear me whenever i need
and that he will help to fix things in order to be my best friend forever
even if that lead to destroying his marriage ..
i do not what to ruin his life
but i expect the same from him
may be he can not imagine that ..
if he went away .. i will lose my way
i will not find my guardian angel
i will be as a lonely stranger
living on this world all alone ...
how can you do that to me ..
i need you for real and i adore you my dear
and you know what i really mean
lately you called and said
" i promised to fix up things, but i screwed it.. i promised to be here for you .. but now all what i can do is be away from you "
but you did not think what will i do
i will have to live the rest of my life
watching my happiness fading away
and the best friend i have ever had
the one that i bared the whole world for
lost friends in order to have, handled family problems because of talking to..
is going away .. and not for the night or for the day
but he is going away.. THE WHOLE WAY..
i must be in a dream that i hope it will never ever come real..
and the only thing i will remember is your fake promise and that is :
when i begged:"Please always be here"
you replied and said"well i am, aren't i?"..
when i hoped:"yes you are.. and here is where i want you always to be.. forever i mean"
you said:"forever i will .. and that is a deal "
yes .. those were your words more or less
and that was your deal
which turned to be not real ..
it turned to be sentences full of fearful words..
i do not have anything to say
i do not know what to do ...
just go away if you want to .. but i will always remain the same
the best friend you said you had one day
the friend who i hoped you will return to whenever you need..you became the best friend on the leave..
for his new life with out me
and i keep wondering
was i your best friend in deed?
because you do not know how i really feel
when my best adorable and amazing friend
is on the leave !!
