THe "IDEAL" life

If i could do this life over, go back and try again
I would start by mending me, forgetting you and then...

Maybe people wouldn't always look down on me as though;
They can see things about me, things that they shouldn't know.
Society might accept, the addiction that ties me down
I may even paint on a smile, wipe away this permanent frown

...Oh how i wish, i wish i could be
That person so many people love and envy.
It wouldn't take much, and where i would start,
Forget about my old life, and fix my broken heart.

Yet in reality there are no do overs, oopsies, or redo's
The reason for what the doctor's put as substance abuse.
I may not get better but i can say i will try,
I'd rather say i have an addiction, as to my whole life is a lie.

...So before you start to judge me, just remember that you too
have scars and secrets, and doubts as to what you should sometimes do.
Everyone has fears, mistakes, and memories that they regret.
There's always some part of you, that others won't accept.