Study Hall

Againg there isn't enough emotion in this piece for me.

I don't feel anything you kind of almost went there in the second stanza.

Suggestions:
longer writes
more vocabulary
bigger emotion

The emotions were excellent,..nice work,5/5

This was kinda hardcore. Lol... I'm not trying to joke around really, but you know... I'm silly :P What I mean by "Hardcore" is that fact that its deep, and not something you'd expect from this scenario. I never thought about my life while I was in study hall... I just kinda fell asleep. But this poem was great because it was effective and opened my eyes to a different angle of life. And that's only because you've done such a good job of writing it :) 5/5 for sure!

As an emotional piece, this was pretty decent, your intensity rests firmly in your final line: The last poem I read by somebody I explained how they had failed to have a final line that wrapped up the poem theme, yet yours is the exact opposite and not only wrapped it up but gave a bit of an explaination of the poem as a whole than a piece of line.

Now, the poem structure wise felt akward, as though reading it outloud it was off in more than once place, I wish you could have put more emotional description in and explain this life that you mention in your final line.

Your cries are heard so loudly. I wish there was a way that I could console you and let you know that one day everything will be ok.

We often think about "what if" and focus on that aspect instead of the taunting things that seem to rob us of our own happiness.

Once again you have done a wonderful job portraying the pains and sorrow that we all experience.

~~Sher