The Devil's Stage

by Tripp   Mar 23, 2008


Not sure where this came from. I think it's okay though. r/r/c and I'll do the same.

So say goodbye, for the last time
bid your farewells, to friends and sunshine
we're submerging, plummeting to the abyss
so say goodbye to your final and last kiss

A darkness that's so consuming it asphyxiates
an audience with such tension that you can't wait
You can't stop, you can't prevent the fall
from stage-floor to hell, as if it's down the hall

Dancing on devil strings, Satan's marionette
this performance is a solo, not a duet
The actor and the spectator, you watch your demise
two are one, you watch through yours and Satan's eyes

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Sora

    Wow! a fantastic poem. short and sweet. i loved it. you choose your words so wisely. your a wonderful writer, keep up the nice work. 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    Excellent, the second stanza was my favourite
    =]
    Great job

  • 16 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    Wow! Very strong and vivid. You could feel the words and passion in it. 5/5 I loved it.

  • 16 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    I felt like the beginning was slightly weak, but the second stanza just blew me away.

    A darkness that's so consuming it asphyxiates
    an audience with such tension that you can't wait
    You can't stop, you can't prevent the fall
    from stage-floor to hell, as if it's down the hall
    `"From stage-floor to hell" I think that's absolutely brilliant. Rhyming wait with asphyxiate kind of broke the flow just slightly though. Still, a beautiful stanza.

    Dancing on devil strings, Satan's marionette
    `Beautiful image. I could just imagine it. The word choice was excellent.

    I felt that the line you ended with though, was slightly too long. Work on your syllabication a bit--other than that though, I think it was a well written piece . Some gorgeous images.

    --..MiNDYY

  • 16 years ago

    by Perfectly Broken

    That was really really good. i love every bit of the piece. there was definitely a dark feeling. you are an amazing poet! 5/5