I am speechlesss to describe my admiration for this poem. The flow is outstanding. I love the metaphors you hose to deliver a great theme

This just blew me away. Your choice of words were so powerful and deep that it fit everything just perfectly. You wrote everything with such ease and beauty. It all flowed just naturally and was a joy to read. Well done *5/5*

I'm trying to understand what this poems about. I've concluded that its about you wanting to have more excitment and you want the boring days to leave.. and you want a fun future.. I'm hoping to hit the bulleye's but who knows, I could have totally blown it out of proportion lol.

I really like your title but if you had to change it into something else i could see it being : Burn Away Yesterdays. Then again maybe not lol.

Stanza o1:
Again I really like the ... burn way yesterdays. "Smoulder every star that leaves me no choice but to star" I really like this line. It stuck out for me. The imaginry in this stanza is really good. Its a great opening.
Stanza o2:
'unfetter' another new word.. luckily this time i used "context clues" to figure it out :D
The only thing I didn't like though about this stanza is the 'un-bewared'. Like i understand the rhyming.. the word works but you scrap by with it.
Stanza o3:
'ardent' 'qualms' 'fervent' I REALLY like your vocabulary lol Those words inparticular are very strong. Great choice. The exclamation points add emotion. That last line was perfect, excellent ending.

Another well written piece.
Amazing Job

5/5

"Burn, many yesterdays, burn this hollow night away"
^^^that was my favorite line..it is so strong!!...great job!
5/5

I love the way you used the rhyme sceam aaaa bbbb cccc. I absolutely loved it. it is hard to get out what you wanna say and make it all fit into a perfect rhyme sceam. i am very amazed. and also your imagery is so vivid so alive. it makes a movie in my mind. I love it. you have a true talent. 5/5

I did enjoy this piece alot. Maybe more then your last one. Though again I feel as though your words just wouldn't come together for you. I also felt as though the rhyme was a little forced. I felt this because it seemed as though you tried a little too hard trying to rhyme the same rhyme four times.

Your word choice and metaphors throughout this piece were brilliant. Truely beautiful. I think you can come up with some creative words metaphored together.

I didn't feel emotion from this piece though.. It's in the sad category and I couldn't feel emotion what so ever. Maybe that's just me..I feel as though you had too many pauses within this piece due to all the commas.

Overall this piece was good not great. I think with work it would be alot better. ~Mel

I loved the flow of this poem very well written your talented and thanks for your comments on my poems i appreciate that

Wow. I have to say your imagery is amazing! The metaphors were just beautiful! I love poems that leave reader room to have it's own meaning of the poem, and yours is doing that very well.
On the other hand, I have to say your vocabulary is amazing. Also loved the smooth flow.
I'm cleary feeling the sad atmosphere, same time it's giving some hope.
"For fervent hopes blaze high! For desperate dreams ignite!"
Also, Loved these sentences:

"That my autumn leaves so wasted are falling, unprepared
For the winter that awaits them, for a future un-bewared"
Autumn is season of giving up, time of tears. "Leaves so wasted" Giving the sense that you have been through a lot, but collapsing is not expect, maybe you thought you were stronger.
And the winter, as the end of everything green, you also leaving the future pending, as you couldn't betoken what will be happening in winter. I found that brilliant.

Overall, I loved the poem!
Never stop writing! :) 5/5