Cant Believe She's Gone

by Fabz   Mar 25, 2008


When I Lost Her,
She Took A Piece Of My Heart,
I Was Alone And Confused,
Heartbroken Not Knowing What To Do,

My Heart Always Thought Id Be,
Back Laying In Her Arms,
So My Mind Took Advantage Of Being Free,
Chilling All Night,
And Every New Girl That I Would Meet,
I Would Sweet Talk With My Charm,

Guess I Thought Her Heart,
Would Always Be Mine,
That I Could Do What I Want,
And Id Be Back,
Kissing Her Lips In No Time,

Guess I Thought My Name On Her Heart,
Would Never Fade,
After Ive Done What Ive Done,
Go Back to The Side Of Her Bed,
Where I Used To Lay,

My Mind Didn't Grasp The Fact,
That She Could Of Moved On,
And My Heart Still Cant Believe,
That The Love She Had For Me Has All Gone

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by A Phoenyx in Flight

    Wow this poem is fantastic!!! I can feel the love you have for her throught the words well done

  • 15 years ago

    by Love is a Beautiful Thing

    Its awesome i love it!!!!!!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by rdn 11 2 08

    Well screw wat they say...i luuuuuuuuuuuuuvd it! thot it was awesome!

    xoxo db4ever
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    Okay. I'm gonna analyze your poem. :]]
    The first stanza, i think, was real good and very interesting. It certainly caught MY attention. :] The second stanza was a bit confusing, but the last line was nicely written. Maybe you could try breaking the sentences differently. Third stanza was alright. .

    Next stanza:
    "Would Never Faded"
    That doesn't make sense with the previous line. You could either take off the "d" in "faded" or add the word "be" in between "never" and "faded" . In my opinion, you should add the "be"

    The last stanza was very nicely written as well. It really sums up the whole piece. And there should be more boys like you out there. .or at least around here, that are able to realize this kind of stuff. .anyway. A great write. :] 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by sexyCheckers

    I like the last stanzaa; but in MY OPINION the rest is a mess?

    But its just an opinion :D

    xxxx

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