Comforting Words

God, no wonder she's strung on you XD

Great job on this!

This poem is touching. I liked the idea and the rhymes. The choosing of words fit the subject nicely, and the flow was good along the whole piece. This poem is not my style, but it's still a nice one 5/5

Jessica, I wrote these words for you,
In an effort to help subdue,
This punishment that you're now going through,
So you can think of me and won't be blue,

** With these lines, well they're not the best dear. I do like them, and they have great emotion, but it'd be a good idea to either make the second line a bit longer, or the rest a bit shorter. I understand, though that it's probably not about the flow and whatnot with poetry like this, but it'd help as the person it's to reads it, and so on.

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You changed rhyme schemes after your first stanza, and personally I don't think (in most cases, this being one) that's a good idea, unless it's somehow in the poem another place, because one way, then another. . . it makes it all kinda odd, lol.

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This love that's better,
Than a fairy tale,
It can't be measured,
On any scale

** " Than a fairy tale", Honestly Daniel, you can do better than that. It's almost ugly there, there's too many words with T's, and that bothered me. It's like too much of that one letter, you know? Usually it's odd with words, but a lot of times letters aren't too good either, lol. Maybe take out " this " in the first line, and change "a" to any, in the second line. And, the last line was a bit short, but it went well with the rest.

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"You are my senorita"
^^ you're, sounds better.

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I hope this helped you,
Make you smile,
While you are grounded,
For a little while,

** Try " I hope this helped to make you smile, While you're grounded for a little while." << Less commas, more puncutation and on top of that it makes more sense.

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" quite where I'm at"
^^ take out quite.

" I have your back"
^^ that's more like a friendly gesture than a love one, dear. But, I guess it fits fine there.

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I think it's sweet of you to write her a poem such as this. It's not your best word choice wise, but the emotion was pretty decent. I thought you were getting back to Daniel style, but none of the recent ones seem to flow perfectly, you know? Nor have (almost) perfect word choice. But, you are doing better than the few you wrote a while back.

Sorry if the comment`s harsh, you know I mean well with it all - to help you improve and realize things that can be changed tohelp it out.

You did a great job, dear.
Keep it up.

Aww, I think it's beautiful that you wrote your girlfriend a poem while she's grounded. I'm sure it'll definitely cheer her up. :)

"So you can think of me and don't be blue,"
^^ The only suggestion I have is that I think instead of "don't" it should be "won't", but of course it's up to you.

Nicely done.