Love doesnt always bring happiness, is a game of loos and gain.

Aww. this is sweet. and how i feel about love right now...no benefit..only pain. but don't listen to me, ok? i know that it's gonna be ok for you. this poem was very sweet. so full of longing and love and innocence...great

Stupid me! I fell in love with
You and no one else
What I've done is pointless
I can only blame myself

^ i really love this stanza...it's just like, DOH! I"M AN IDIOT! which is how i feel right now..

great job, hun.

There were some spots I really wished you would have used punctuation. It really helps a read flow easier with the poem.

I think the poem would have been better if instead of 4 lines in a stanza you make the lines longer and have 2. Because it sounds to choppy and reading them as one line works better in my opinion.

My favorite line was:
The only one who didn't listen
Was my broken heart

I thought those lines were cute and they really showed meaning.

lovely poem I really feel for you here.
5/5

Every night I lie awake and
Wonder what I've done
Thinking back on words I said
And why its me you shun

^ An excellent opener. It really caught my attention. And I know exactly what it's like to be like this. [To lie awake at night, thinking] Very nicely written. :]

I said "I love you" and
Asked of you're okay
Offered up a hug and kiss
When you said "Hun, its been a bad day."

^ In the second line, I think you meant to write "if" instead of "of" [?] This stanza was simple but very nicely written as well.

Stupid me! I fell in love with
You and no one else
What I've done is pointless
I can only blame myself

^ In the first line, I think you should leave off the "with" and add it to the beginning of the second line. "I can only blame myself" --That idea is real cliche, but I really liked the way you used it in the stanza/poem.

Everyone saw it, saw it
From the start
The only one who didn't listen
Was my broken heart

^ Personally, I think you should add the second "saw it" to the second line. [Just an opinion] And I think this stanza is very relateable to many and me as well. .

What I've done is foolish
I've fallen hard for you
But you'll never love me back and
That's unfortunately true

^ I think that the "and" at the end of the third line should be put into the fourth line. I think that would make the stanza flow a little nicer. :] A great closer for the poem, by the way.

Just some suggestions. :]
But anyway, the flow in the poem itself was very nicely done; almost flawless. I like the idea behind the poem, it's very relateable and somewhat cliche, but you write it with originality. :] A great write. 5/5 from me.

OMG.....i loved it
so many people fall in love for someone who will never return it and this poem captures it beautifuly. i cant even say anything bad about this poem. i enjoyed it so very much .
it has so much emotion and i can almost feel the heartbreak.
5/5..

if i could i would give you more , but alas i can not. :(

Waw its great, and dont plame your self as if you didnt tell him i think all your life will be a big plame that you didnt,you loved him but he didnt i think he lose a true love and you wine a trust in your self,dont be so hard on your self.
my favorite stanze :Everyone saw it, saw it
From the start
The only one who didn't listen
Was my broken heart
you done it realy with all feeling and nice flow
5/5

Babe.. love bites. i know. But trust me on this.. you will find someone who completes you 100%, someday you will.

Wonderfully written poem

Every night I lie awake and
Wonder what I've done
Thinking back on words I said
And why its me you shun
^i love this stanza, its what almost every girl does, she sits there and rips apart every little thing, trying to find out what she did wrong and what she could do better. but most of the time, it isn't ever her fault

I said "I love you" and
Asked if you're okay
Offered up a hug and kiss
When you said "Hun, its been a bad day."
^wonderful, again. it shows giving your all and loving someone so much.

Stupid me! I fell in love
With you and no one else
What I've done is pointless
I can only blame myself
^ i like this one, but its message is soo sad. You cannot help who you like, but after a while, you can see their true colors, and your feelings change for that person. promis me that you won't go blaming yourself for something you cannot change. you are too good for that

Everyone saw it,
Saw it from the start
The only one who didn't listen
Was my *own* broken heart
^i think adding the own, makes it flow a bit better. again, written very nicely. this shows how people can actually see that its not going to work out, but that we are too blinded by love to see that..

What I've done is foolish
I've fallen hard for you
But you'll never love me back
And that's unfortunately true...
^i love you!!! and don't think its foolish, this person has taught some things, and given you some great times, don't look back and regret. love every moment of your life, and never forget that you are amazing!

amazing poem hun, keep it up! you rock!! 23948324371937/5!!!

Babe.. love bites. i know. But trust me on this.. you will find someone who completes you 100%, someday you will.

Wonderfully written poem

Every night I lie awake and
Wonder what I've done
Thinking back on words I said
And why its me you shun
^i love this stanza, its what almost every girl does, she sits there and rips apart every little thing, trying to find out what she did wrong and what she could do better. but most of the time, it isn't ever her fault

I said "I love you" and
Asked if you're okay
Offered up a hug and kiss
When you said "Hun, its been a bad day."
^wonderful, again. it shows giving your all and loving someone so much.

Stupid me! I fell in love
With you and no one else
What I've done is pointless
I can only blame myself
^ i like this one, but its message is soo sad. You cannot help who you like, but after a while, you can see their true colors, and your feelings change for that person. promis me that you won't go blaming yourself for something you cannot change. you are too good for that

Everyone saw it,
Saw it from the start
The only one who didn't listen
Was my *own* broken heart
^i think adding the own, makes it flow a bit better. again, written very nicely. this shows how people can actually see that its not going to work out, but that we are too blinded by love to see that..

What I've done is foolish
I've fallen hard for you
But you'll never love me back
And that's unfortunately true...
^i love you!!! and don't think its foolish, this person has taught some things, and given you some great times, don't look back and regret. love every moment of your life, and never forget that you are amazing!

amazing poem hun, keep it up! you rock!! 23948324371937/5!!!

Babe.. love bites. i know. But trust me on this.. you will find someone who completes you 100%, someday you will.

Wonderfully written poem

Every night I lie awake and
Wonder what I've done
Thinking back on words I said
And why its me you shun
^i love this stanza, its what almost every girl does, she sits there and rips apart every little thing, trying to find out what she did wrong and what she could do better. but most of the time, it isn't ever her fault

I said "I love you" and
Asked if you're okay
Offered up a hug and kiss
When you said "Hun, its been a bad day."
^wonderful, again. it shows giving your all and loving someone so much.

Stupid me! I fell in love
With you and no one else
What I've done is pointless
I can only blame myself
^ i like this one, but its message is soo sad. You cannot help who you like, but after a while, you can see their true colors, and your feelings change for that person. promis me that you won't go blaming yourself for something you cannot change. you are too good for that

Everyone saw it,
Saw it from the start
The only one who didn't listen
Was my *own* broken heart
^i think adding the own, makes it flow a bit better. again, written very nicely. this shows how people can actually see that its not going to work out, but that we are too blinded by love to see that..

What I've done is foolish
I've fallen hard for you
But you'll never love me back
And that's unfortunately true...
^i love you!!! and don't think its foolish, this person has taught some things, and given you some great times, don't look back and regret. love every moment of your life, and never forget that you are amazing!

amazing poem hun, keep it up! you rock!! 23948324371937/5!!!

Awwww! that's so sad.. =(
i hope you're better now.
i like your poem though it's very pretty! =]
<3

Great. i could relate to this one, cept she says she loves me. 5\5 i enjoyed it

This is so freaking cute& kinda sad

Hey I love it it's just this verse:

I said "I love you" and
Asked if you're okay
Offered up a hug and kiss
When you said "Hun, its been a bad day."

I don't really get how the last verse fits with the rest. But I love the rest!
Well done!!

O___O oH mY GoD!! This peom totally hit me.. Nyahaha.. -Broken-.. But it's not with the lover but with my family.. But who cares?! It's really a nice one!!

Excellent!

Great write, I loved your starting line it caught my attention. It was simple and clear, very strong expressed emotions. Good Concept aswell.

Keep it up!

Veamm

Good job. show much emotion and is welll writen good luck. 5/5

Awww what a cute love poem

Aww what a cute poem. nice flow. i liked it!! you did good with your emotions. 5/5

This was a cute love poem. Cliche yet cute. I liked the meaning behind this it's sad yet warming at the same time.

The flow of this was a little off also. I wont repeat what I said in my last comment. I'm sure you'll understand what I mean.

Some words I just don't like reading in poetry and "stupid" is one of them. I think if you changed the word it would have a better effect. Again though that might be only me no one else.

The only one who didn't listen
Was my broken heart

The two lines above held such emotion for something so simple.

Overall a simple and effective poem. Well done. ~Mel