Love never to be found again

I sit and ponder over events that have taken me
I look back and wonder where did I go wrong
What and why are the questions that comes to mind
I rewind like videotape hoping to see
Where and when it was me
I would love magic of an eraser to try and delete
But remove what for I can not see

Everyday and night I look back
I smile and all of a sudden cry
Mixed memories are there some I love some I despise
Why cant life be simple where a flag or light be bright
To alert Upon bad times coming
A SOS should be apparent where a heart is concerned

I give and share all I could
Drowning and gasping for air
Never looking for more than is fair
I would scrape up what I could have
And enjoy every second of what was to spare

The day came like a bomb
I had no bunker to hid within
I had to face head on
The shell took me right through in the inner soul
The wounds open for all too see
So bearing how would I heel

I finally drift off to another world
I dream of all wonderful sweet nothings that were not real
I wake to the sun peering through kissing all it could see
Its a beautiful day to only see a dark cloud above me
I shake myself and realise it has been true

I sit and think back and realise that dark cloud is one Ive seen before
I plan my next move and that to understand
My brain is still trying to kick in
A feel the wound hurting to the core
I use all my might to rise and take a step
My wound is dripping with every move I make

Each day and night almost folds into one
I slumber within comfort of one
Before I know it a week has past
I take charge and make my move
Heading to make myself recognisable to the outside world

I walk past the old haunts, my wound still killing at times
I hold my head high attempting to lead a so-called normal life
I keep on walking and see that my step quickens
My back is no longer arched, as my head starts to heighten
I feel my wound twinge every so often
I cant patch but let the world see
I am no longer ashamed after all it wasnt my doing

Weeks pass before I realise months have gone by
I now sit and walk tall, I respect me more than all
Everyday and night is now better sun and stars shine
My wound is now so much smaller
But still twangs every so often

I still sit and ponder over events that took me
Realising that after all this it wasnt anything about me
My wound still stings now and again but healing nicely
I now see how love can rip thee.

This poem is dedicated to that one true love of mine..TP