To Die

"My life is a dark tunnel...never seeing any light

My breath is escaping me...Should I fight?"

I like your rhyme scheme here, and the innocence of this, because it is so true, when you die its hard to breathe, and I liked how you asked a question at the end of the second line.

"My hands are clammy...and blotchy red

My mind is racing...I can't remember what mom said"

This flowed very well, I like this, this is making the readers want to read more. I like your honesty so far at the start of the poem.

"My knees are shaking...I'm falling down

My head is spinning...I feel myself frown

My wrists are bleeding...Its dripping to the floor"

I like how your keeping your rhyme scheme it shows consistency in your poetry which is a very good thing.

"My mom is screaming...I dont understand

My sisters are crying...dads squezzing my hand

Its all over now...its all black

Now i'm stuck wishing...to go back "

I love this ending, this really is a great poem. Its so true, how people would feel. I like how your adding how you feel about what is going on and how you also add how people around you are feeling. and I like how you openly admit that it was a mistake. This was such a great poem I loved it. Keep up the good work :D You should check out some of my poetry sometime :D

Wow!! i love this one, thats very powerful. great work keep it coming hun xxx