Constant pain

I hate the days when I have time to think.
I hate thinking about life, about depression, about people.
About how I don't know if things will ever change
About the way people treat other people.
Mostly about how am I going to make it through this day.
When I do, put this life of mine on pause, the pain, just streams out of my eyes
& we're back into a dark place, I'd rather not visit ever again.
I don't need help.
I don't want to ask.
I just want peace of mind
I can't say for sure how I'm meant to find my way out
I just need peace of mind.