As I sit alone I find myself constantly searching my head for something to sooth my heart,
This feeling of emptiness seems to always be lingering around like a storm that floods,
My eyes when there is no one near to hide my feelings from,
Insecurities plaguing my mind, controlling my actions, changing my moods,
And there is nothing I can do to prevent this.
These actions are beginning to affect others, those whom I love and care for,
But I can't stop and it is their fault.
I see them and my happy face is glowing, I laugh and joke and we are all content,
In my head questions pounding against my thoughts, a headache of doubt infects my relationships.
For why I am alone all the time I ponder, and for why I am so unsettled I'll never know,
Convinced that those who love me are going to leave me,
As they become aware of the real person I am inside,
Filled with doubt and fear and such a lack of confidence in myself I don't even know who I am anymore.
How can someone love this? I am a shell filled with nothing but empty thoughts and sadness, and when you listen to me closely all you hear is air.
Friends slowly slipping away and all the while I can't seem to find reasons, oblivious to what this hurt is doing to them,
Not only is it filling my thoughts, but apparently theirs as well,
Riddling my loves mind and heart with misery as I remain blind to it, Desolation forms a mote between us only I can build this bridge.
But how can I when I don't even see the water? Until now.
