Darker Side of The Sun

- Shadows dripping, calling night,
The sun fades from the sky,
Insanity comes creeping in,
To strangle your reply.-
^^^
Very effective beginning which pulled me straight into the poem. I like your choice of words but I personally dislike the word 'creeping' and it threw me off a bit; still, you portrayed powerful imagery that brings the reader to completely different world.

- Blood is flowing down the walls,
You're drowning in the sea,
Crimson waves of deep regret,
Have swallowed all you'll be.-
^^^
I don't like the second line of this stanza, it somehow doesn't follow the rhythm of the rest of the poem, or at least it sound differently to me. The rest of the stanza is flawless, truly greatly written. You created eerie, truly memorable atmosphere.

- Drink the horror of this life,
Kill your mortal fears,
The past has left a string of ghosts,
Ringing in your ears.-
^^^
I like this a lot, it's very deep and haunting in a way. Truly vivid stanza, with remarkable dark imagery and atmosphere. I've never read a poem like this, you excellently mixed elements of dark poetry with profound poem about life.

- Demons hunt your burning soul,
Douse the bitter flame,
Let the night bring inspiration,
Replace this dirty shame.-
^^^
This is my favorite stanza, it is outstanding! Every single line paints so complex, dark yet alluringly artistic picture. This is breathtaking closure to this piece.

Insanity comes creeping in,

^^ I think that line is amazing. It's like the insanity isn't very noticable at first, becasue it "creeps in", but eventually it's going to become overwhelming.

Crimson waves of deep regret,

^^ I don't really like the word "crimson" here. I think it's been used so much that it's lost its originality. Maybe you could.. I don't know change it to a different color, just to be unique, or you could just describe the red as something other than "crimson".

Drink the horror of this life,
Kill your mortal fears,
The past has left a string of ghosts,
Ringing in your ears.

^^ I love love loooove this stanza. "Drinking horror" just stands out to me for some reason. I love how you worded it. "Killing your fears" is someone I think a lot more people should do. Over coming something that scares you is a big accomplishment. "Ghosts ringing in your ears" hahaha, loved it. It's like the past is haunting you, I think. I could be completely wrong, but that's what I thought it meant. >.>

-I decided to comment on this since I chose the same title as you [for the contest], and because I owe you comments anyway. Hahaha. I'll get your other ones done too. :]

Keep writing!
Cayce