I should be skiing

by Jaklynn   May 1, 2008


It snowed on the night of your viewing.
"I should be skiing" I imagined you say
But your cold hands were folded on your chest
And I realized that you had gone away

I kept myself calm as I talked to your dad
And tried my best to remain polite
Until I realized that this was it
And with you I'd spend no more nights

Everyone knows we weren't together
They also know how scared you were
But they know how much I cared for you
That your high was the one I prefer

I've shed a lot of tears for you
And I hope your happy up there
I dream about you still, you know
What would have become of our affair

So maybe I cant listen to that song
Or go down and drive past your street
I'm mostly happy now, you know
But your gone and I'm not really complete

Maybe I had a little kid crush
Maybe you were only a summer fling
But on those weekends, way back then
Being with you was my favorite thing

It snowed on the night of your viewing
"I should be skiing" I imagined you say
But your cold hands were folded across your chest
And I realized that you had gone away...

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Princess 01

    Im sure this comment is late but sorry for your lose,loseing someone is never ez....good writing!!

  • 15 years ago

    by Maddy

    This is such a powerful poem. truly great. i love how the last verse repeats the first... it adds emphasis.

    all in all great job on this piece 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Roxy

    Now that is such a sad poem. It moved me deeply. I loved the fact that you repeated the first stanza into the last stanza it really made the poem feel complete and made a great impact on me. It's a really moving poem and if this happens to be true...I'm sorry for your loss. I give this poem 5/5
    Keep this up. mwah xxxx

  • 15 years ago

    by kelleyana

    Sad indeed, yet well written and touching. This is the first time i've red your poem and i like your writing styles. Keep it up, kel.

  • 15 years ago

    by Brittany C

    4th line
    "And I realized that you were gone away"
    "you were gone away" doesn't sound right.
    Maybe change it to
    "And I realized that you have gone away"
    or something like that.

    5th stanza
    "But your gone and I'm not fully complete"
    the word "fully" doesn't seem to belong there.

    last stanza
    "And I realized that you were gone away... "
    put "had" in place of "were".

    This was a very sad poem of lose. I really liked it though. Form the most part the wording and flow were good. I gave it a 5/5. There are only a few things that you might fix. Keep up the great work.

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