The idea and concept is interesting, as is the way you incorporated gentleness into something like the Apocalypse.

The problem is, there's a tricky part in writing rhyming, structured poems. It has to have a rhythm, and flow. That's basically meters and feet for you. Most of your lines flow well by themselves, but not together, because the feet are different from one another. There's a reason so many people wrote in iambic pentameter, y'know.

"Together they keep their ear's covered,
Afraid they'll hear death's sound."
Take this as anexample. Line 1 contains 9 sylllables, but Line 2 only has 6, which makes line 2 sound as if it's missing something vital.

"The soldiers stare upon the creature cross-eyed,
Without noticing some friends have changed."
Now, onto the meter problem. This is how it sounds:
"The SOLdiers stare upON the CREAture CROSS-eyed,
Without NOticing some FRIENDS have CHANGED."
See how the sounds don't really match up? And this is only one of many ways of reading it. Because the second line here also lacks syllables, some people will try to compensate and add a pause somewhere, completely changing the intonation.

I liked the subject of the poem, a divine creature which brings salvation. The structure and flow went on nicely, the rhymes were very good. Nothing much to say against it... Good work 5/5

Thats great wel done, excellently put together and very well worded. great xx

Interesting poem, intriguing and well written. I like your descriptions from the beginning to the end, you managed to portray very vivid imagery that brought clear pictures in my mind as the poem unraveled. I like the topic, too. Some of the rhymes felt a bit forced to me and too common but you created good flow with the rhyming scheme. Also, you have really nice choice of words through the piece.
Overall, well done.

-The citizens conceal themselves,
Some hidden deep within the ground.
Together they keep their ear's covered,
Afraid they will hear death's sound.-

^I like the start of this poem, it is refreshing and you already started to built vivid imagery.

-The soldiers in combat are out in the open,
Praying upon their Gods for the war's end.
For although the soldiers might not live,
They pray their loved ones they'll defend.-

^This stanza is also interesting, though I think that repetition of -soldiers and praying- is needless.

-As the thunder roars within the air,
A creature descends from up above.
With its feathers as white as snow,
It's tone of sound filled with love.-

^I like your rhyme and you combined clear image greatly with emotion within this lines.

- The soldiers stare upon the creature cross-eyed,
Without noticing some friends have changed.
Dark colors their fellow soldiers turn.
The dark monsters have gone deranged.-

^To be honest I really dislike needless repetition so this little threw me off but other than that nicely written, I also like hint of metaphorical meaning under excellent imagery. And I think that you truly put good rhythm through poem, it is very dynamic and exciting.

-As the creature descends from the skies,
Its bewitching voice fills in the air.
The creature guides them to bliss,
Their souls taken without despair.-

^I like the ending a lot, very well done, I like the twist on the end, it made great connection with the title too.

Overall I enjoyed a lot in this poem, excellently written.

Very sad and very meaningful. i really liked the 1st stanza. amazing. You portrayed a beautiful story in your poem and it was great to read.
Taegan emily

This is a good write, I have rather a migraine so I couldn't really enjoy it as well as I'd like to, but deep down it touches, which is the main thing at times: to understand, I suppose.
It's all very well, you know; however, I had a slight tendency to look past your words into another... world, one such filled with wonder and amazement that no eye can merely see.

5/5

Fisrt of all I really like the way you used an interpretation for a poem. Smart move. Second I enjoyed reading fresh work. I really liked how were pretty literal with this poem and said what you meant in an articlate way.

A line I fix that could be ammended is

'They pray their loved ones they'll defend', here I feel you have used the third person pronouns 'they' and 'their' a little to close together giving the line a bit of difficult in reading.

Other than that I see no flaws the flow was pretty good and the words you chose worked nice with the poem, exellent write

Alex xxx

Simply beautiful

I don't know where do you get those ideas and imagination but you really have the talent a poet must have..you created a gloomy aura plus good vocabulary.. your flow is flawless. keep it up!!

I think the prologue was the best part. personally.
i also think that you have good talent but dont use your vocabulary to the fullest you could have in this write. i dont know if you wanted to stay simple during some parts or to better come across with your meanings, but you could have used some better words at some parts. hope that helps, and in no way am i putting down the work here, i liked it.

Tom